


A Bit of Earth

by HardStansOnly



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Background Relationships, Child Neglect, Cholera epidemic, Classism, Coming of Age, Cultural Differences, Disabled Character, Fuck authority figures and other teenage rebellions, Ignore the inconsistent yorkshire accent i did my best, Internalized racism, Kissing and all that jazz, Love at First Sight, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Racism, Pre-WW2, Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem Issues, Soft endings for soft boys, The Secret Garden AU, Turn of the Century, accidental social commentary but we in it now, aged up bc i hate writing kids, apathy as a coping mechanism, battle of wills, changkyun ain't got time for nonsense, changkyun gets a big gay crisis, everyone is sad and pissed off in england, fucking white people, i guess, i just wanted a cute au and here we are, i'm so soft for rapline its gross, new places new things, no abuse just straight up neglect, slight xenophobia, so nothing new, someone give uncle craven a hug, tags to update with story, when in rome, wonho as robin redbreast is everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-09-27 10:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20406325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HardStansOnly/pseuds/HardStansOnly
Summary: Changkyun was born to wealthy parents who did their best to ignore him. When they pass away he’s sent to live with his uncle in a remote manor where he learns to be human.





	1. India and the Cholera outbreak

**Author's Note:**

> the secret garden was one of my favorite books growing up and Changkyun deserves a soft au after the shit i put him through in pan’s labyrinth - S

Changkyun had been born in India, the only child to a wealthy British officer and his exotic trophy wife. Neither of his parents had wanted him, they spent most of their time ignoring him. Even among the natives and the Englishman he found himself outcasted. A half Korean child born of a bought wife during the height of the British Orientalism. The white British officers called him half breed while the natives called him colonizer. Changkyun had learned early to be comfortable with his own company since there was no one, not even his man servant Abhi, who wanted to be around him.

Unlike himself, Changkyun’s mother was embraced by those around them. She was small with thin build, her skin a warm tan that she coated with white powder to make herself look less different from the other women. Her long black hair was always coiled back with shiny ornamentation that caught the rays of sunlight. Changkyun would wait until she left her room before sneaking to sit at the vanity table, gently running his fingers along the heavy gold pieces encrusted with jewels. He would watch as she carefully applied her makeup every morning while servants prepared her hanbok, the colors always matching perfectly. Usually her wide skirts were pale pink silks matched with milk white shirts, the materials always finely stitched with flowers. Sometimes she wore bright red, which always made Changkyun think that made her look as if he was wrapped in the blood.

He used to hate his mother for being so loved by everyone while people did their best to pretend he wasn’t in the room. It was only many years later that he would learn the difference between love and fetish.

Throughout his childhood Changkyun watched silently as his parents flitted in and out of their home like the butterflies in the Maharaja’s garden. The two were always dressed in bright colors, gold and gems embroidered into their clothes and silk slippers on their feet. His mother lived for parties and his father when not busy with his military duties would accompany her. They had no use for a half breed child with a sour look and spiteful words.

As the years ticked past, Changkyun slowly became more reclusive, loneliness bleeding into anger and then utter apathy. The older he became, the more his parents weren't home until the only people he saw were the house servants. It didn't matter how early he got up or how late he waited into the night he never saw them. Once he had turned ten and realized that no amount of fits, screaming or broken objects would make them look in his direction, Changkyun stopped trying. 

Sometimes Changkyun struggled to remember what they looked like. Did he have his father's nose? His mother's lips? He would sit on the gilded stool of his mother’s vanity table to stare in the glossy mirror for hours looking at pictures of his parents trying to figure out what parts of them had been passed down. He was not beautiful like his mother nor refined like his father. Even after he had taken a needle to pierce his ears in the double fashion like his mother he could not match her beauty. 

He was just a mutt from two lines that were for show but shouldn't have bred.

Changkyun had been convinced that he would spend the rest of his life alone. That all he would ever know was the cold gazes of the servants and the walls of his father’s large home. The long, hot days were spent watching people walk around in their daily lives or lost inside one of the hundreds of books he wasn’t supposed to touch. The characters in the pages were the closest things he had to friends while the hours slipped away. Occasionally, he would get a scolding from his father for going into the library but it never stopped Changkyun from taking more books to read. By the time his fifteenth birthday had arrived Changkyun had read through the whole library thrice.

The winter of 1910 was the first time things had changed in Changkyun’s life. It was early December when he sat at the window and noticed more and more people were beginning to look ill or disappear. The once bustling street slowly started to empty until most days only stray animals would run up and down the dirt path. Changkyun missed seeing the women with their brightly colored saris and their glittering necklaces filling the street. Even if he didn’t interact with any of them seeing the people walking down the street eased a bit of his loneliness.

“Master Kyunnie.” The words broke him from his trance. In the doorway Ahbi stood looking waxen, a thin layer of sweat on his dark skin. “I am not feeling well. Please forgive me I cannot attend to you today.”

It took a moment before Changkyun realized Ahbi was waiting for his response. “I’ll be fine. Go lay down and rest.” The man smiled wanly muttering a few ‘thank you’s before stumbling away.

Disease wasn’t uncommon in India, sickness came and went like flash fires. With so many people living so close together all it took was one person to get a cough and the whole block would be shivering under the covers for a few days. Only this time it seemed like people weren’t getting better from whatever was being passed around. There would be shrieks of grief that would punctuate the air like like gunshots. Sometimes Changkyun would hear wails carried on the wind before dying out to silence.

Three days later Changkyun realized something was wrong. 

The sun had begun rising over the vast expanse of the city but no one had come to rouse him. Changkyun laid in bed frowning, deeply wondering if Ahbi really was sick or if the man had taken off in the night. He wouldn’t be the first servant to leave their house, though it happened less since Changkyun had stopped being surly and demanding. Once he had accepted that no one wanted him he stopped trying to catch people’s attention.

The house itself seemed quieter than normal. Where there was usually the light tap of feet on the wood or the rustle of the servants changing out the bedding there was nothing. Closing his eyes to listen harder there was a small rustle at the foot of the bed that caught his attention. Leaning over the side he saw the sleek body of a rat snake. The Ahbi called them _dhaman_ and had often told Changkyun that they were harmless even if they moved quickly. The best thing to do was to stay still and wait for it to pass. 

The snake lifted its head up, forked tongue flicking out to taste the air a few times, then turned around. The brown body twisted a moment and then was gone through the doorway leaving Changkyun alone again.

When the sun was high in the sky Changkyun slipped from bed curious to where everyone was. Still in his nightshirt he padded his way down the stairs not bothering to call out to anyone. Passing through the dining room Changkyun found that there were plates on the table half full of food while a few of the chairs looked as if they’d fallen over when someone jumped up from shock. Stomach rumbling Changkyun took a few pieces of thick crusted brown bread, some fruit that sat under a glass dish where flies couldn’t feast upon them and a large drink from a bottle of wine that had sat unopened. 

Changkyun nibbled on the bread as he walked room to room. The kitchen stood empty as if the servants had gone running from their stations when the dinner guests fled. The parlor, the den, the gardens. Empty. Everyone had left but no one thought to take him with them. Changkyun had supposed he should feel some form of grief at that. Many would cry at being so thoroughly unwanted and forgotten but Changkyun didn’t know how to cry. All his tears had dried up years ago.

Returning to the dining room, Changkyun took the last of the bread and the uncorked bottle of wine before retreating to his mother’s dressing room. Laying scattered along the vanity were pieces of her jewelry though it appeared as if someone had rifled through it. Many of her big pieces were gone. The heavy ivory elephant pendant, the shiny gold brooches, even some of the many rings she wore. Slipping a few thin bands of gold onto his fingers, Changkyun lifted his hand to the stray band of sunlight filtering in through the window. He looked like the Maharaja with his fingers dripping in gold. Glancing at the few items that weren’t taken Changkyun began to place them on himself.

A few bangles that he remembered hanging off his mother’s thin wrists. The last pair of emerald earrings that had been hidden in a drawer. In the drawer next to the earrings Changkyun found a gold hair pin, the long stem ending in an intricate web of fine wires wrapped around a piece of jade that had been carved like a flower. Just below the jade flower a strange symbol had been stamped into the metal. Changkyun wondered if the character was Korean, he had never been allowed to learn his mother’s native tongue nor had she ever spoken a word of it to him. Unable to wear the hairpin in his short hair Changkyun slipped it into his pocket.

Changkyun slipped all the remaining rings on, a thin chain gold necklace and looked at himself in the mirror. Dipped in the remnants of his mother's finery he still looked plain as ever. An ugly doll with fancy gems. Changkyun was tempted to throw the jewelry off, leave it for whoever to find but he couldn't. Some small part of him hoped that if he wore it long enough he would transform from the plain half breed boy to the beautiful butterfly like his mother.

Instead of throwing the jewelry off Changkyun took the bit of bread left and finished it on his way to his room. Maybe he would wake up and Abhi would be back, or the cooks. Maybe someone, anyone, would realize that he was still here. Taking another long drink from the wine bottle he frowned. No one was going to come back for him.

Changkyun was as he had always been, alone.

Changkyun must have fallen asleep sometime between emptying the wine bottle and listening to the house creak in its emptiness. When he opened his eyes, the sun hung low in the sky lighting the vast expanse of blue a brilliant shade of pink. He realized belatedly what had woken him was the tell-tale scuff of boots against the hardwood floor. Maybe it was the servants returning to the house or robbers to take what valuables were left.

"Why are we here Sir?" A man asked in a high nasally voice. "The whole house should be burnt to avoid contamination."

"It's a pity about the Missus." Another voice answered back in a deeper tone. "She was a lovely thing." Changkyun arched an eyebrow. It wasn't the first time he heard people talk of her though usually what they said when no one was listening was vugler. "They said she had a child, a boy. Since his body wasn't with the parents we need to make sure his body isn't rotting and spreading the disease."

"Sir, no one has ever even _seen_ this child. The boy would be nearly fifteen surely no one can stay unseen for that long." The nasally man's voice sounded close to the door. "For all we kno-" the door swung open. "Good god." Changkyun blinked impressively as the two men jumped in shock.

"Are you a ghost?" Changkyun nearly laughed at the deep voiced man. Being kept in the house all the time had made his skin paler than his mother, even with all her powders and creams. With how everyone had ignored him all his life, maybe he had never been a real boy at all.

"I must be. Everyone else has gone." Changkyun tilted his head, eyes narrowing. The two men seemed anxious, like being in the house was going to turn them into ghosts too. "Are my parents truly dead?" 

"Yes. The cholera took them in the night." The deep voiced man shook himself back. After a moment the man seemed to understand that Changkyun wasn't going to burst into tears or wail or whatever everyone else did. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"I suppose I can't stay here." Changkyun looked around his room. He had spent nearly his whole life in the little box. He didn’t eat with his parents or get kisses like other children, maybe that’s what had saved him from the cholera. An accidental kindness from two selfish people. "Can I?"

The two men looked at each other, then back at him, then around the room. Changkyun knew it was bland. The bed and wardrobe were made of the same dark wood, the sheer curtains a plain white while his duvet provided the only color being a deep burgundy. The walls were bare, the desk only held a few pieces of paper and a book that he had taken from his father’s library when he was at a party the previous night. Nothing showed that this was a place someone lived most of their life.He didn’t collect books like his father or clothes like his mother or bits of brass like Abhi. A plain room for a plain boy.

A few tense moments later the nasally one spoke. "No. The bungalow needs to be cleaned and will be given to a new family if it's not burned." Changkyun thought of all the books in his father's library. His mother's prized vanity table. All the gilded beautiful things that would surely be taken and sold off. "Get dressed and we'll get you to the military base to see what we can do for you. Do you have any family to contact? Any aunts or uncles? A grandparent?"

"I don't know." Changkyun stood, the now empty wine bottle clattering to the floor from where it had been on his lap. The three of them watched it roll on the floor under the bed and Changkyun wondered if the _dhaman_ was under there, poised to strike for the intrusion. His head still felt a bit hazy but it wasn't the first time he had wine. Once he reached the age of eleven his father permitted him to have a glass with his dinner, or that's what the servants had said. Maybe they had done it simply because it would make him sleep and his father didn't know or care to know.

Changkyun found his life had been packed down into two suitcases. One held his favorite books from the library, the few small trinkets that he picked from the house that never felt like home. The second held a few changes of clothes. His mother's hair pin and jewelry were securely tucked away in a small pouch hidden deep in his clothes. Changkyun didn't trust the yellowed teeth officers with their starched beige uniforms or the thin bodied, hungry eyed people who surrounded him. 

While the military waited to hear back from England, Changkyun had stayed with a clergyman and his family. Like in the big bungalow people remarked how beautiful his mother had been and how none of her looks passed to him, it seemed the only thing they ever talked about when he was around. It was as if being the plain child of two beautiful people was the only thing worth noting about him, that he existed to be nothing more than one long disappointment.

Changkyun spent the days with the clergyman’s family hidden under the trees watching the other children. He wasn't permitted to stay inside to read during the daylight hours, the clergyman's wife insisting day time was for playing. It didn't matter at fourteen he was ten years older than the youngest and seven older than her oldest. None of the children wanted to play with him anyway nor he with them, so he watched. He watched the little girls in shabby dresses play tag and braid each other's hair. He watched as the boys fought with sticks and took turns trying to see who could lift the heaviest rock.

"You're going back to England." Changkyun craned his neck to up to see the oldest of the girls. Her face was a dark tan and hair a kissed gold from her years in the unforgiving sun. "You got a hunchback of an uncle who is willing to take you. Heard me ma talking with the neighbors."

"I see." Changkyun resumed watching the girls play tag.

"England is dreary just like you." Her voice cut through. "You'll fit right in. Even with your weird eyes." Changkyun didn't blink at the comment. The children enjoyed poking at his Korean features, often calling him China Man or Rice Boy. Over the years he had become used to being called sallow, spoiled, ugly and plain. The clergyman's seven children had been no different than the servants at home though the children at least called him names to his face. 

Somehow seeing their sneering faces was a welcome change to the hushed whispers behind henna painted hands or brightly colored veils. It didn’t make him change his attitude, he was still cold and distant but the insults being hurled directly at him made Changkyun feel real in a way he couldn’t explain. They may have been insulting him but at least they saw him, they acknowledged he was in the room and wasn’t a ghost.

The clergyman told him over dinner that night he would be going to England at the end of the week. His uncle had paid for his ticket on a steam ship that had the cargo taken off so it could bring back the orphans the cholera had left in its wake. Changkyun remembered their daughter’s words of his uncle being a hunchback and the weather wondering, not for the first time, if it would be better if he simply walked into the forest and disappeared.

That night Changkyun excused himself to bed early and dreamt of his mother in her pretty silks and his father in his rich velvet shirts dancing in the bungalow’s garden like the butterflies they were.


	2. Journey to Misselthwaite Manor : 1910

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun arrives in England.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since i aged up everyone its less Childhood Innocence and more Cultural Differences. we're not gonna touch too much or deeply on some stuff bc its not my place but i didn't want to just 'lmao everything is Perfect uwu" either. - s

The steamboat from India to England was slow, slower than even the days in India that the sun shone so bright it made it impossible to move under its weight. Now that he was no longer anyone of consequence, Changkyun had lined up along with all the other children being sent back to England. Each of them had number tags that were attached to their jackets and their luggage, their information written in black ink.

_Number 43_  
_Name/Age - Daniel “Chan-g-koon Lim” Lennox, 15yrs_  
_Parent Status - Deceased (cholera) - Only Child_  
_Family/Guardian - Archibald Craven - Maternal Uncle _

The man at the dock had asked three times how to spell his name until he got frustrated and put Changkyun’s father’s name saying that he didn’t have time for forgien nonsense, as if his pale skin and accent didn’t make him a foreigner too. At first Changkyun resented the name on the tag. It wasn’t enough that he was unwanted by the man, now he had to bear the name like it was his own. Changkyun spent hours staring at the tag while the boat rocked back and forth on the unsteady waters.

4 Months later he landed in England.

Changkyun had never been so excited to see land than after the long voyage. While on the boat several children had taken sick and died, which had caused a panic. The boat had nearly turned around, no one wanted to spread the cholera to the mainland but after checking everyone it appeared the children had died from the flu. The constant chill and wetness was enough to even shake Changkyun’s health though he simply hid away to avoid being thrown overboard. Many of the ship's crew disliked him, as did many of the children. 

When the boat docked, the crew had them line up, bags in hand. From the belly of the big metal ship they were marched single file off the boat. Changkyun hand barely stepped into the open air before he and several others began gagging. The water smelled as if something was rotting, the air was filled with smog. Even the sharp spring air still heavy with frost couldn’t cut through the stench.

"People live here?" Changkyun coughed, the smell burning his nose. "It smells worse than the pisspots on the ship."

"It'll put some hair on yer chest." One of the crew men laughed thumping Changkyun's torso. "Tha's if yer kind can even grow chest hair. Look too much like a lass ta me." Changkyun gritted his teeth. Everyone on the boat had taken to calling him a girl and Changkyun suddenly regretted ever wishing to be considered beautiful. "You even got bits down there boy?"

Changkyun was saved from answering or hitting the man by the line suddenly moving. All three hundred of them were brought into a large storage house that Changkyun guessed usually housed animals. The wooden walls were sodden from rain, the floor muddy but covered in fresh hay. In stalls, Changkyun could see a few goats, a horse, and even the curled top head of a camel. At least he wasn't the only foreign creature here.

In the middle of the room was a rope fence cutting it in half. In the middle, just enough for one, maybe two people to get through was an opening and a man standing in front of a podium. On the other side of the rope scores of people stood, some in fine clothes and furs while others were in rags. Many of the women clutched at their chests, white handkerchiefs soaked with tears or rain.

"Number one, Elizabeth Smith." The man on the podium spoke in a loud voice. The little girl stepped forward with bags larger than herself. In less than a heartbeat two people hustled to the front, the old woman sobbing while wrapping the girl up in a hug.

"Number two." The voice rung out again startling the goats. "Thomas Baker." Another set of teary eyed family members pushed through.

"Number three, Hellen Thatch."

Another name, another family, another round of tears. For a brief moment Changkyun had let himself think he'd get that too. That when his name was called his uncle will step forward to sweep him into a hug. Maybe no tears would be shed but he'd be welcomed and not alone. It was a dangerous line of thought he was going down but it was the small light of hope that had kept him sane all the long days at sea. There was nothing for him in India, but maybe there was something in England.

"Number forty-three." The man called out, lips twisting into a frown under the thick mustache. The man picked up the book, adjusted his glasses and squinted before turning to look at him. "How in God's name do you say that?"

"Ch-ANG-KH-YUn L-I-M." He supplied quietly, he half expected it to be ignored. To Changkyun’s surprise the man on the podium practiced saying it a few times until it sounded correct even under the heavy accent. Changkyun begrudgingly gave him the ghost of a smile at his attempt. It had been the first time someone hadn't brushed his name off as ‘foreign nonsense’.

"ChANgkYuN Lim or Daniel Lennox." The pronunciation was a little off but Changkyun was grateful for the use of _his_ name even in conjunction with his father’s. After a few moments no one in the crowd moved. "Cha-NGKYUN LIM OR DANIEL LENNOX." A cold black thing began to wrap itself around his heart. With sad eyes the man at the podium turned to him in a low voice. "Go sit by the fire to keep warm. We'll keep an eye out."

Changkyun didn't cry as the names were called and other children were reunited with people. He didn't feel any sadness at the fact he had been forgotten. Again. Or maybe, like his parents, his uncle didn't want him. Maybe they had wrote letters to his uncle about their plain ugly boy and the man felt he would be better off without him. His parents, before they were dead of course, seemed better without him. Before the cholera they had a lively and joyous time, even during the rainy season.

Slowly, the room emptied out. Even the dead children had families there to claim the bodies and baggage. The sun was low and the man from the podium sat next to him sharing the fire and warm soup that his wife had brought. Changkyun had thanked the wife for her kindness even as she looked at him in the same way people looked at the camel. Distantly he wondered if this was how people looked at his mother and she simply ignored it or if the looks were softer, less invasive, because she was so beautiful. The man’s name was Richard and he talked endlessly about his wife - the woman can be a bit surly but what woman isn’t in the winter? - and about his two daughters that were his pride and joy. In the face of Changkyun’s silence Richard did his best to keep both of their spirits up while the sun started to sink below the rows of brick buildings.

When the giant clock Richard had called Big Ben chimed midnight, Changkyun resigned himself to his future being as hopeful as the now empty cup in his hands. He was too old for the orphanage but maybe he could find work? Or maybe sneak back on the ship to return to India. The cold was already settling into his bones and from the time Changkyun had landed on the rancid smelling dock he missed the liveliness of India. The smell of street vendors filling the air with their spices and curry, the sounds of haggling women with children at their skirts. He missed the animals, even the mice, that roamed around every bit as accepted as the people. London with its dull skies, wet streets, and sullen looking people was a complete opposite of everything Changkyun had ever known.

"Daniel Lennox?" The whip crack of a voice caught his attention. Changkyun glanced up to see someone walking through the building with a purposeful stride, heels clicking on the dirty cobblestone. Once she was within view a few feet her bright blue eyes fell on him. "You, boy. Are you Daniel Lennox?" The woman stood straight backed, long face pinched in a severe frown. People had always said he looked sour, he wondered what they would have to say about her.

"He was my father." Changkyun stood as Richard scurried from where he had been speaking with the Port Master, log book stuck under his arm. He looked grateful at the prospect of going home.

"Are you here to collect him?" The woman nodded. From the folds of her jacket she produced a piece of paper. Changkyun assumed it was the letter saying the time and date he would arrive in the ‘mainland’ that the other families had.

"I’m Mrs. Medlock, stewardess of Misselthwaite Manor in Yorkshire while the master, his uncle, is away." Changkyun looked her over again. The long black dress paired with heels made her look like a shadow come to life. The only color to her outfit was the purple feathers stuck in her wide brimmed hat.

“Yorkshire? Explains the delay in pick up. Safe travels back, mum.” Richard turned and shook his hand. "Changkyun, it's been a pleasure."

The man had barely turned the corner out of the building when she spoke. "I won't be using that Chinese name of yours." The urge to roll his eyes was strong but he hadn’t expected her to be pleasant. “I’ve got quite enough of you running around with foreign names as it is.”

"My name is Korean actually." Changkyun tried to keep his voice even. He had no intention of living under a different name because she refused to use his.

The woman leveled a steely glare, lips thinning further. "Same thing." It was a test to see how far his resolve went.

"No, it's not." Changkyun returned it. Changkyun bit back that all of _their_ names were foreign to him since he was raised in India. If he could learn their names they could learn his.

"Your father's name was Daniel so that's what I will call you." Medlock sniffed as if she was done with the matter. It reminded Changkyun of his mother’s female friends in their silks and paint. All delicate sensibilities and easily bruised egos. It reminded Changkyun of how he used to act. No wonder the servants hated him.

Unable to stop himself Changkyun shrugged. "Okay, _Thomas_." 

The reaction was instant. "That's not my name." He took small joy in how her cheeks flared red with anger.

Inclining his head Changkyun looked at her impassively. "Daniel isn't mine."

The two glared at each other for a long time. Changkyun wasn't used to having to back down and it seemed neither was Medlock. A crash from the dock finally broke the spell and Medlock turned on her heel. Grabbing both of his bags Changkyun followed her out to where a carriage sat with a footman waiting. The carriage was black with silver trim accents reflecting the moonlight. Through the windows the plush seats were upholstered in a rich burgundy to match the heavy curtains.

“Peter, take _Changkyun’s bags_.” Medlock’s voice the sharp, like it hurt her to use his name. Changkyun took his victory with grace, even managing to give a quiet Thank You to Peter when the man grabbed his bags. “Get settled in. It’s a long ride to Misselthwaite.”

Travel within the city had only taken a few hours. With the cobblestone roads travel was easy, only stalling when at intersections or if the roads clogged with people. Medlock told him that London never slept, there was always work to be done either on your feet or on your back. The last word had been spat like it left a bad taste but the woman was surly about everything so Changkyun didn’t pay any mind. As they left London the roads were still well kept but the click of horse shoes on cobblestone turned into dull clatter on dirt road. 

Inside the coach was a tense silence as he and Medlock openly sized each other up. Changkyun figured being the head of house must come with some heavy responsibility if the lines and permanent scowl on her face were anything to go by. The deep quiet of the night outside the carriage was broken only by a few birds and the sound of the coach humming quietly to himself. At least it was warm inside the carriage unlike the dock warehouse that he had spent hours in.

It was nearly six hours later, that Changkyun could guess, that the carriage came to a stop. In silence, the two climbed out to stretch their legs after their time in the cramped compartment. The sun had not started to rise in the sky but animals had begun to move around so he figured it was close to sunrise. Changkyun wordlessly followed Medlock into a tavern where they both went to the restroom to wash up. When he emerged a few minutes later from the washroom he found both Medlock and the coachman at a table with three plates of hot food already sitting on the scratched wood. 

“Thank you.” Changkyun shot a quick look at Medlock as he sat down. She looked at him a moment before nodding her head once and tucking into her dish. “What is this?” Changkyun tilted his head at the flavor.

“Have you never had stew before?” The coach asked as if Changkyun had insulted him. “It’s beef, vegetables, potato. “Don’t they have cows in India?”

“They do.” Changkyun took another bite trying to figure out the flavors. It was savory, just a hair saltier than he would have liked, but not too bad. “We don’t eat cows in India. They’re sacred to the Goddess _Aditi_.”

“Good God, they worship _cows_?” The coach’s face scrunched with disgust. Changkyun thought maybe it was the Englishman blood that ran in his veins that had made him so surly. Everyone in London save Richard and his wife were cold and easily offended. It was a pity Abhi was dead and Changkyun could no longer apologize.

Taking another bite Changkyun rolled the meat across his tongue to feel the texture before answering. “No.” Changkyun tried to remember everything Abhi and the servants had told him in the rare instances they would explain things. “They are sacred but not gods. _Aditi_ is the mother of all gods and the cow is her attendant.” The looks from Medlock and the coach soured further. “Cows are gentle in nature, like a mother, and give milk that can be drank or turned into food. Nearly all the native Indians are vegetarian.” Changkyun shrugged. “We had meat in our home but never cow since it’s taboo.” 

“What an odd thing.” Medlock took a drink of what they called ale. During his explanation the woman’s frown had lessen just slightly, obviously interested but unwilling to admit it.

“Wait until I tell you about the monkeys.” Changkyun took another bite to cover a grin. For the briefest of moments Medlock nearly smiled.

“Maybe another day.” Medlock returned behind her cold veneer as the cup was placed back on the table. “We serve beef at the manor and unless you have an allergy we won’t make exceptions.” 

“I have no issue.” Changkyun took a few bites to prove his point. He had been raised to respect the natives religion and culture even if his family did not practice it. Now that he was in a different place he was curious about what other differences there were.

The three lapsed into silence, focusing instead on their food. Around them Changkyun could feel the stares of people as they began to filter in from outside or upstairs where there must be rooms. It wasn’t too hard to tell he was different from the two he sat at the table with. In India he was pale compared to those around him, white passing as Abhi called it when the man didn’t think he was listening, but here his skin was a warm tan. His eyes were smaller and jawline too soft for as skinny as he was. Under the weight of their eyes Changkyun thought he would suffocate. 

“Did you ever meet the King there?” The coach asked quietly. Medlock arched an eyebrow but didn’t squash the question. If Changkyun was willing to guess, he would say she was interested too. “They say he walks around draped in furs and jewels.” 

“My parents did.” Changkyun took a quick drink of the brown liquid nearly gagging as it washed across his tongue. It was terrible. “Though, I saw the Maharaja from my window once. He was coming down the road on his elephant.” Both of their faces were comical in shock. He had once overheard a guest saying that the natives traveled on elephants the way people traveled on horses or mules. Maybe they didn’t have elephants here in England. If not, he’d miss seeing the gentle creatures. “I don’t know much about the caste system to be honest. I did not leave the bungalow and the native servants spoke little English. Those that did speak English were unwilling to talk about it.”

“The rich are rich and the poor are poor.” Medlock drained her cup. “It is the way of the world no matter what country you’re in.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Changkyun finished his bowl of stew. Medlock and the coach had taken to running a piece of thick bread in their bowls to catch the last of the gravy so Changkyun did the same. The bread was still warm and sat heavy in his stomach with the rest of the food. “How long is it to Missel…” Changkyun tried to remember the name of the manor.

“Misselthwaite.” Medlock finished for him pulling out a bag to fish money out. “It’s a days ride. We are less than halfway.” Changkyun slumped in his seat a bit. He was not looking forward to being stuck inside the stale carriage again.

With a heavy meal in his belly for the first time since Abhi took ill and the steady rock and sway of the carriage Changkyun's eyes drifted closed. He dreamt of the market back in India. Of watching his parents flit stall to stall in their colored clothing high from his bedroom window. He tried to call out to them but the two simply vanished into the crowd.

Changkyun woke up to the sun high over a vast open area. When living in India, Changkyun had only heard stories about the vast rainforests that loomed around the cities. What he was looking at now wasn't anything like those. It was just empty fields littered with half frozen water and an occasional clump of trees. Did nothing grow in England?

"You're awake." Medlock's voice caught his attention. Tearing is gaze from the expanse, Changkyun stretched in the tight space. “We made good time since we traveled through the night.” Medlock looked out over the expanse of fields. “We’re in the moors now. It will be slower going since there was a frost last night.” As if to prove her point the carriage swayed a bit then righted itself. “We’ll be at the manor by nightfall. Once we get to Misselthwaite we’ll have dinner and you’ll go straight to bed. We are up with the sun, there is too much to do to be lazing about all day.”

“Does my uncle have a library?” Changkyun asked watching a herd of sheep run through the ‘moors’. “I like to read.”

“You can read if it’s raining, otherwise you’ll find something to do outside.” Changkyun sighed heavily. Was it too much to ask to be left alone with books? “Don’t expect to see your uncle. He doesn’t take visitors nor does he have time.”

“So why did he take me in?” Changkyun met the set of icy blue eyes.

“He considers you family.” The tone of her voice was heavy with skepticism. “His wife was your aunt.”

“Was?”

“Did they not tell you?” Medlock’s frown was back. “She’s been dead fifteen years.”

“My parents didn’t have time to raise me let alone to tell me about a dead aunt.” Changkyun felt odd. It wasn’t grief, he didn’t know the woman, but he had hoped for that brief second that he could meet her. Was there anyone in his family that was still alive?

“Once she died your uncle became reclusive.” Medlock’s eyes made him feel peeled open and naked. “He spends most of his time travelling. When he is home, he’s holed up in the east wing. You’re not to go there unless explicitly invited by your uncle.” Changkyun nodded. “Misselthwaite is over six hundred years old.” That made his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “There are over a hundred rooms, most of them shut up, and you will not go into any of them that isn’t your room.” 

“Can I take books from the library outside?” Changkyun looked back out at the moors again. “Could you ask my uncle if he won’t see me?”

“Absolutely not.” Medlock’s voice was like a whip. “I am not a messenger nor will we risk ruining one of Master Craven’s books.” Changkyun held his breath to keep from sighing. She wanted him to stay out from underfoot yet she denied him access to the thing that would guarantee that.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence punctuated by the occasional shout from the coachman at the horses. Both Changkyun and Medlock had taken to staring at each other again in a silent battle of wills. The two glared at each other until the gentle sway of the carriage lulled them back to sleep. When he awoke again a few hours later they split a basket of buttered bread and hard meat she had called jerky, also made of cow. The spiciness of it reminded him of home. After a brief stop to stretch their legs the three were off again and Changkyun tucked himself back into the corner to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi to us on Tumblr!  
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> 
> hey kids we got a twitter:  
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K - https://twitter.com/BChannies


	3. The Garden and the Departure of Master Craven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun discovers the ghosts of Misselthwaite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chap got way tf away from me - s

Just as Medlock told him, they arrived at the manor well past nightfall. Changkyun drowsily took in the large building, the grey stone wet from the rain that must have come while he was sleeping. The manor’s windows were shuttered closed by thick brown wood against the April night chill, though there was already threads of curling vines climbing up the sides.

Once inside the manor the three had a small meal of hard bread and cold chicken in silence. None of the conversation from that morning was present. With aching arms Changkyun carried both of his bags as he followed Medlock up to what was to be his new room. The moment he walked in the door was closed and he was left alone again. Not bothering to do more than kick off his shoes and peel off his clothes down to his briefs, Changkyun climbed on to the large four poster bed. The moment his head rested on the feather down pillow and he pulled up the thick duvet, he was asleep.

There were no dreams this time. No silk or velvet butterflies, no parties or gardens. Just darkness. 

*

_Knock, knock, knock._

A rapping against the door woke him. Changkyun’s eyes blinked slowly open taking in the bright pink of the sky. _We rise with the sun_. That was what Medlock had told him and even after two days in a carriage it seemed her internal clock had not skipped a beat. Rolling onto his back Changkyun sat up slowly rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm.

“Good morning.” Medlock’s voice was clipped, the edges framed with exhaustion. “I brought you breakfast. After you eat you’ll go outside and not come back in unless its for meals or washroom until sundown.” Changkyun didn’t speak. Medlock still leveled a heavy glare at him. “Remember you are not permitted to wander the house. This room alone you may enter.” Changkyun arched an eyebrow but remained silent. 

When Medlock left, Changkyun climbed out of the warm bed, goosebumps raised on his skin from the chill in the air. he spied a thick robe and slippers lying on the bed that he must have missed when he came in the night before. Pulling on the robe he inspected the strange white _something_ that sat in the bone white bowl. Tracing his finger along the blue flower painted on the small pitcher holding sweet smelling milk he wondered if it was edible.

“Is this... a curry?” Changkyun dipped his finger into the bowl to swipe some onto the tip of his finger. “At least it’s warm.” Licking it off his finger Changkyun grimaced. Not curry, just mush. In the little jar with matching blue flowers next to the bowl was honey so Changkyun added a bit along with a splash of the sweet milk. It made the mush a little more bearable to eat.

In large bites, Changkyun finished half the bowl, his aversion to the food overcome by the hunger from not eating much during the journey. Unable to take the weird flavor and texture any longer, Changkyun began a slow exploration of his room. The walls, bed, wardrobe and writing desk were made of the same dark wood. All of them polished to a shine and sturdy as the trees they had been made from. Thick tapestries hung on the far wall depicting people dancing in old style clothing. He supposed it was what his father had called a Proper English Bedroom since it looked similar to what his parents had in India.

Running his fingers along the tapestry Changkyun felt them brush against what felt like a door handle. With curious hands he moved the fabric to reveal a hidden door that blended nearly perfectly with the wall. “Where do you go?”

Medlock had said that he wasn’t to go into rooms that weren’t his own but since the door was in _his_ room he pushed it open. Changkyun was greeted by a long hallway, walls painted milk white under the layers of dust and cobwebs. The few chairs in the hallway were hastily shoved against the wall and stacked on top of one another, some filled with straw bird nests. Changkyun tossed a glance over his shoulder before slowly creeping through the doorway. The hallway felt every bit as abandoned as he was.

The first few doors he tried to open were locked, metal squeaking in protest at its sudden use. Finally Changkyun reached the door at the far end of the hall and to his surprise it opened but not before a few birds took flight startling him.

"Fuck." Changkyun's heart thumped heavy against his ribs. "Stupid birds." Hands planted against the wood Changkyun pushed the door again until it swung fully open. "Oh…"

On the other side of the door sitting utterly abandoned was a room that made his heart speed up again. In the far corner a partition sat with painted butterflies and flowers, a pale pink silks thrown over one of the sides. Next to the partition was a red and gold chair, with a telltale blue hanbok skirt over it. Closest to him was a vanity table heavy with dust and cobwebs. With its white paint and gold accents it was like looking at a ghost. This room looked just like his mother's back in India.

Curiously Changkyun approached the vanity table. Scattered along the wood were jewels that had been left forgotten. Glittering pieces of silver and gold, some pieces twinkling with gems but unlike his mother’s most of the jewelry was plain. Simple bands or small chained necklaces. Tucked in the corner of the vanity a flash of silver had caught his attention. In a silver picture frame two identical women sat smiling brightly for the camera, despite the black and white of the photograph Changkyun knew that the silks the two women wore were brightly colored. He could tell which of the two was his mother by the flashy necklace he remembered her wearing until he had broken it in a fit of rage when he was small. In front of the frame was a gold hairpin styled in the same jade flower as the one he took from his mother’s vanity. A matching symbol was stamped into this hairpin as well.

Sliding the hairpin into his pocket Changkyun glanced around the room once more. He would come back later, maybe during the night and look around more. It was obvious that no one came around here, not with the dust and the birds everywhere. Perhaps he could find out more about his aunt and his mother by extension.

Moving quickly, Changkyun managed to sneak back into his room and put the hairpin with his mother’s in the bag before the door swung open again. To Changkyun’s surprise the boy carrying the tray was not only smiling but he _looked_ like him. Pointed face, dark hair, almond shaped eyes, tanned skin.

“Hello.” The boy smiled widely. “I’m Kihyun.” Changkyun watched him in fascination. “Do you speak English?”

“Oh.” Changkyun shook himself. “Yes. I speak English.” Kihyun beamed another smile at him. “Who are you? Are you my servant?”

“I’m Medlock’s servant.” Kihyun set the tray of food down that Changkyun had missed in his initial shock. “And she’s Master Craven’s.” Changkyun nodded, still enthralled seeing someone who looked like him. There were those in India that kind of looked like him but Kihyun could be family. “I’ll be taking care of you though, when I’m not in the kitchens. To be honest this the first time I’ve been allowed upstairs.” Kihyun moved to throw the curtains farther open to let in the sunlight. “I think she gave me the job out of pity for my mom. There are five of us and Master Craven is the only one who would hire people like us.”

“Like us?” Changkyun frowned.

“Foreign.” Kihyun spoke like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Pointing to his face Kihyun spoke again.“Slant Eyes.” Changkyun shouldn’t have been surprised that people would make fun of their features here. They didn’t accept them in India so why would they here? “Anyway. You’ll see my brothers around in some form or another. Shownu and Wonho aren’t my brothers but their mom passed away when they were small so we took them in. They work with Ben keeping up the trees and gardens.” Changkyun nodded dutifully. “Minhyuk is another one we took in when his parents died during the winter a few years ago, he helps Medlock with the house.” Changkyun nearly asked if he had any actual brothers but Kihyun kept going. “Jooheon is the baby of us and my actual brother, he doesn’t work around the manor but is too busy crawling through the moors with the animals to cause trouble.”

“And my uncle?” Changkyun inspected the food in the bowl to keep from staring. Stew, as promised. The brown chunks of meat sitting in the bowl were less threatening now that he knew what he was looking at. The first night at the tavern he had been convinced they were trying to feed him clumps of dirt.

"No one had heard from Master Craven in near three months before he came back telling Medlock he was taking custody of you." Kihyun dropped his voice a little. "She wanted to send you to a boarding school but he wouldn't let her." Changkyun supposed he should be grateful for that. If people on the boat were cruel he couldn't imagine a boarding school being much better.

"Any way you'd let me into the library?" Chankyun asked nonchalantly.

"Absolutely _not_!" Kihyun squeaked indignantly. Pink rising onto the high cheeks. Like everyone else in this cold country Kihyun was excitable. "Mrs. Medlock says you have to go outside." Changkyun sighed heavily. "Besides. It'll be good for you."

"How is that?" Changkyun glared heavily. Why wouldn’t anyone just let him read.

"Well you're nearly yellow to start." Kihyun arched back a haughty brow. The man’s arms crossed over his chest, the shirt creasing from the motion."Sickly looking. You should be tanner."

"My mother used creams to not be tan." Changkyun shot back heatedly. "If you didn't notice everyone else here isn’t."

"And if _you_ didn't notice fuck all it did my mother. Or your mother. Or your aunt." Kihyun looked dangerously close to striking him. "They will never accept you no matter of pale your skin is or how proper your English." 

The words hurt more than Changkyun dared to admit. 

He had always known he would be an outcast. His parents would have left him the moment he turned eighteen or sent him away somewhere. His father's country didn't want him. His mother's people didn't want him. Changkyun was an orphan long before his parents died.

"Come eat your stew. It will warm you up before you go outside." Kihyun motioned him over to the table. Changkyun wanted to throw it at him. It would be childish, rude and just his preferred brand of obstinate. But what would be the point? What was the point of any of it?

Changkyun sat at the table eating his food while Kihyun moved around the room. He watched the bed get made, pillows fluffed up into clouds and fabric folded neatly. With a little cloth Kihyun dusted a few places before finally pulling out clothes. Everything was black. Shirt, pants, shoes. Bleak clothes to match a bleak country.

That wasn't exactly true. Kihyun's clothes had color. The rough spun cloth of his shirt was a starched white with grey in areas from frequent washing. His vest was a deep blue, little silver buttons catching the sunlight. The man must have felt his stare and unlike the servants in India, Kihyun stared right back.

"If you're done come get dressed. I assume you know how to do that." Kihyun placed a thick pair of woolen socks, also black, on the bed.

"And if I don't?" He couldn't help but poke just a little. Standing up Changkyun crossed the room to the bed.

"Then today is as good of a day as any to learn." The man shot back, arms crossing over his chest. "Do you really not know how?"

"My Ahbi dressed me until I was eleven." Changkyun shrugged, already his hands tugged at the hem of his shirt. "After that my father said I needed to learn or I would have to walk around naked."

"So how long did you walk around naked?" The friendly smirk was back.

"Two days." The laugh from Kihyun was bright. It filled the air around them like a sudden wave of sunshine. "He put a stop to it when I sat in his leather chair on a particularly hot day." Kihyun laughed again, hand flying up to his face to cover his mouth.

He was pretty when he laughed.

"_Boys don't marry boys_." His father's voice echoed in his head.

*

Changkyun found himself outside under the cool sun. Spring had not yet come to the moors of England and a thin frost remained on the plants. Over the wall Changkyun saw a billow of black smoke rising up, smelling of dead leaves. Without a book to distract him Changkyun picked a direction to begin wandering the grounds.

Changkyun walked from the manor to the outer wall, the cold ground crunching beneath his feet. The trees stood tall and leafless against the iron gray sky though some sported bunches of spiked needle like leaves.

"Oh hello." Changkyun had to look _up_ to see the person talking to him. Peering at him from over a wall a burly looking boy with soft black hair curling out from under a bright red hat and gentle smile waved. "You must be Master Lim."

"Yes. Are you Shownu or Wonho?" Changkyun stepped closer to the wall.

"I see you have talked with my brother." The soft smile widened and it was like the man became a ray of sunshine. "Technically my name is Hoseok but I like the name Wonho better."

"Why?" Changkyun tilted his head nearly losing his hat in the process.

"My secret." Wonho winked. 

"I see." Changkyun frowned as a bell rang in the distance. "What's that?"

"That's-"

"Hoseok." A waspish voice cracked. "What are you doing up there. You should be working." Wonho cringed looking guilty.

"He was talking to me." Changkyun called over the stone wall.

"Who is _Me_?" The old man barked back.

"Changkyun."

"Bullshit." Changkyun nearly jumped when a door opened despite the layer of vines over it. "Oh. Well I guess it is you." The old man leveled him a dark look.

"Wonho wa-"

"Should be working. Some of us don't have the luxury of simply sitting around." The old man arched an eyebrow. "Ma names Ben Weatherstaff."

"Do you…" Changkyun frowned. "Do you need help?" If it was possible the man looked more insulted. "You could have just said no."

"Why don't you just go back to the manor young lord." Ben scowled. The man looked to be late fifties if Changkyun had to guess. It was clear he had spent all his life working outside. Snow white hair framed a scowling face etched deep with lines, the skin so tan it was nearly leather.

"I can't. Medlock's orders." Looking back up to Wonho, who was cutting vines, Changkyun debated ordering Ben to release the man to be his guide. "People in India said I'm sour. They would straight die if they met you."

"Maybe there is some Brit in you after all." Ben turned to go through the door. "This country is just a bunch'a pissy bastards. You an' me included." Changkyun hid a laugh behind his hand. Something softened in the man, just for a moment. "Ta hell with it. Wonho, show the li'l lord around before he starts ta pout." Both Changkyun and Wonho perked up even as Ben scoffed.

Wonho led him around the manor grounds showing him what little life thrived there. It was mostly trees and shrubbery that survived in the moors. Thick trunked pine trees oozing sticky sap dominated most of the space. There were other trees that Wonho taught him; Soft but strange leafed juniper. Long drooping branches of a weeping willow. Dense bushed 'topiaries' still wrapped until spring came but would be cut into spiralling designs.

What intrigued Changkyun the most was the little gardens framing the house. In India there was so much vegetation that sometimes he wondered if the forest was simply waiting to swallow the city back up while they were sleeping.

"It’s not much now." Wonho crouched next to a mound of earth. "But once spring comes it'll be beautiful here."

"I imagine you'll be extra busy." Changkyun sighed sadly.

"You can still find me and we can talk while I work." Wonho stood smiling even he covered his face with the bright red scarf to warm his nose.

"If you won't be wearing red, how could I find you?" Changkyun poked the scarf. "You look like a robin with this scarf."

"Or a cardinal." Wonho poked his nose back.

"I like robins better." In the distance they could hear Ben calling for Wonho. "Looks like you have to go."

"I'll wear red again tomorrow so you can find me." Wonho crossed his heart. "Better yet, I'll send Jooheon to find you if he's out of the moors. He's been excited to meet you."

"No one is ever excited to meet me." Changkyun dug his toe into the gravel. "Most people would rather run away."

"I was excited to see you. And Kihyun." Wonho adjusted his scarf. "Give Jooheon a chance. You'll see." They heard Ben call again, a tad more irate than before. "Have to run. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah. Don't get in trouble over me." Changkyun wondered if he could sneak back into the house now.

"Oh." Wonho pulled something from his pocket. "I found this buried in the yard. I don't know what it goes to but maybe you can find out." Wonho passed the key before jogging off in the direction of the smoke.

Changkyun turned the key over in his hands curiously. The heavy metal was dirty, some spots showing rust from years in the dirt, but it was pretty. The top had what Changkyun assumed were roses etched into it and ivy vines going down the side. This was an expensive key to make, custom for someone. But what did it go to?

Maybe one of the doors inside. Maybe to something out here.

Maybe Wonho was just pulling his leg and wanted to give him a wild goose chase to keep him occupied.

Changkyun spent the next two days testing the key in every door that he could get close to while the staff wasn't around. He tried rooms upstairs, downstairs, the cellar. He had even tried the rooms in the hidden hallway. Nothing.

Next he tried the doors outside the manor. The sheds, the weather shelters, the front door. Still nothing. Sometimes Wonho trailed along, some times Ben needed him to help move heavy items. Changkyun had yet to meet the rest of Kihyun and Wonho's brothers but it was hard to focus on that when the mystery of the key kept him awake at night.

Nearly a week later Changkyun found the door.

He had been walking around the walls of the garden on the far North side of the manor facing his dead aunt's room. His hand trailing over wet rock and against the mess of vines when his hand hit a door knob. Changkyun took a step back in disbelief. The rest of the garden doors had ivy and vines too but were cut so that they could be used. This one was grown over several times until no one would even know there was a door.

Was it a door to some forgotten space? Or was it abandoned? Ben kept a 'tight ship' as Wonho had called it during their walks over the last week. Ben kept every part of the property perfectly maintained. So why was this door hidden behind years worth of foliage?

Glancing around Changkyun slipped his hand through the vines, fingers fumbling until he managed to fit the key into the lock. It took a few tries but eventually the metal grinded in protest as it unlocked. He had found the mystery door. Slipping behind the curtain of vines Changkyun pushed the door trying to open it. The more it refused to move, the more resolved Changkyun was to see what was inside of it. Maybe it was a place where all the orphaned things of this place went. Maybe it was just another burn space Ben no longer needed. Either way the curiosity was eating him alive.

With a long groan of joints the door opened and Changkyun nearly fell on his face.

"Who would lock up a garden?" Changkyun mumbled looking around.

The area was twice as big as the other garden sections. Twice as big and neglected. The terraces yellow and overgrown, a small pond frozen over and clogged with debris. The few signs of life within the space were a few small animals and a bird's nest.

"Hello little robin." Changkyun smiled looking at its bright red breast. "I have a friend who looks like you." That made him frown. 

Was Wonho his friend? They talked as if they were. Wonho also snuck him little treats from his mother's kitchen on days he was allowed to take off work and walk with him.

"To be honest, I've never had a friend before." The robin tilted its mousy brown head, a small chirp close enough questioning that Changkyun wondered if it could understand him. "I had my Ahbi but I suspect he hated me the same way he hated my parents." Changkyun sat down on a stone looking around the abandoned garden. "This place has been forgotten. Like me. You know when my parents died I was left alone in the house because no one knew about me?"

"That's so sad." Changkyun shot nearly out of his skin. Somehow he had been so wrapped up talking to a _bird_ he failed to notice someone slip in. "I didn't mean to frighten you." Changkyun took in the new face. "I'm Jooheon."

"H-hi." Changkyun took a deep breath to calm his heart. Kihyun's baby brother was _beautiful_. Beautiful in the way his aunt and mother were. Beautiful in a way that a small part of Changkyun hated him for it. "How did you get in here?"

"Charlie followed you in and I followed Charlie." Jooheon motioned to the raven on his shoulder. It reminded Changkyun of the native people who walked with monkeys on their shoulders. Was Jooheon a beast tamer? "Would you like to pet him?"

"Can I?" Changkyun stood up slowly, afraid of both scaring the raven to flying off and making it attack. "He's so big."

"He's just a baby." Jooheon crooned at the bird. "He hatched early and got separated from his mama." Changkyun took another step closer. "It's okay. He won't bite." Jooheon closed the distance, hand taking one of Changkyun's. "He's soft."

Changkyun was grateful for the cold making his cheeks red already, though he suspected Jooheon saw his blush. He had never been close to anyone as pretty as Jooheon. His heart shaped face, kind eyes that turned into little crescents when he smiled wide. A mouth that looked like it spent more time smiling than frowning unlike everyone else he had met in England.

"What if he doesn't like me?" Changkyun breathed. His fingers were poised above the feathers, the deep black eyes of the raven watching unblinkingly.

"He will." Jooheon covered his hand and closed the distance for him. "See?"

"Oh." Charlie swquaked once then resettled. Changkyun pet the raven several times, each stroke a little more bold. "I think he likes me."

"Yeah." Jooheon hummed. "Oop." Charlie suddenly took off startling Changkyun enough that he buried his face into Jooheon's free shoulder. "Must be hungry. It's okay Kyunnie." Fingers brushed his cheek.

Changkyun stumbled back startled all over again. No one had called him that since Ahbi. It was familiar and Jooheon no matter how beautiful was _not_ familiar.

"I'm sorry." The boy held his hands up.

"It's…" Changkyun took another step back, foot nearly catching on a broken stone. "It's fine. Anyway, I was just leaving."

"Why?" Jooheon questioned, long legs matching his stride.

"Its dead in here. What's the point in staying?" Changkyun huffed even as he eyed a swing hanging from a thick tree branch.

"It's not dead." Jooheon grabbed his hand to pull him over to a mess of thin branches. Changkyun was too surprised to even protest. "Its just sleeping. Watch." Jooheon pulled out a small knife putting a knick in the wood. "See the green? It's as alive as you and me."

"Alive?" Changkyun looked around again. "Could we make it like the other gardens here?" Turning back to Jooheon he stepped closer to the boy grabbing his hand. He wasn't below begging. "Can you help me?"

"Sure." Jooheon smiled tucking back a bit of hair out of his face. "It will be our secret garden." Changkyun smiled excitedly. "Come back tomorrow and we'll start cleaning out the beds."

"Thank you." Changkyun wanted to hug the boy but wasn't sure if he was allowed. "I. Um."

"See you tomorrow Kyunnie." Jooheon kissed his cheek.

*

Changkyun was up with the sun the next morning. His internal clock had adjusted quickly, considering back in India he slept as much and as long as he wanted. Here, he was to be up, fed, dressed, and out the door before midmorning.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Come in." Changkyun was already getting dressed for the day. Instead of black he had found some brown pants and a blue shirt. Did Jooheon like blue?

Did it matter? Boys couldn't marry boys. Even if he found Jooheon beautiful nothing would ever come of it.

Still. He hoped Jooheon liked blue.

"Oh my you're up early today." Kihyun set the tray of mush - oatmeal - on the table. Today there were links of sausage and toast. "I heard you met Jooheon yesterday." Changkyun's stomach twisted into a knot. Did Jooheon tell him about their garden? Was it already not a secret?

"I did. What did he say?" Changkyun tried to be nonchalant but he was pretty sure he failed.

"He said Charlie liked you." Kihyun huffed fondly. "Him and his animals. We keep thinking he's going to run away to the circus one day." Changkyun felt his mouth lift in a smile. "He also said you two were going to walk around the moors and expect you to come back muddy." The vise around Changkyun's heart released. "Just be careful okay? Even if the ice looks thick its too close to spring and you'll fall in. The water is _cold_."

"Would Jooheon let me walk on thin ice?" Changkyun resisted the urge to dump the whole container of honey into the oatmeal.

"No. He did it once to Minhyuk as a prank but ended up feeling bad about it." Kihyun smiled fondly. "It only got Minhyuk's feet wet but our mama was upset since we didn't have the money to get a new set of shoes." Changkyun blinked up confused. He had several pairs. Didn't everyone else? "Master Craven found out and got new shoes for all of us."

"That was nice." Changkyun nearly smiled but Kihyun's face soured. "It...wasn't?

"Just because we're poor doesn't mean we need charity." Kihyun stood up straight, glare deepening then going soft. "That was uncalled for. Master Craven has always been good to us. Has always treated us fairly and with respect. It was nice, yes."

"Then why are you angry?" Changkyun took another bite of oatmeal.

"It's complicated."

"I'm willing to listen." Kihyun arched an eyebrow but his face was pinched in what was bordering annoyance. "If you want."

"Do you really not understand anything?" Kihyun's voice went flat, face smoothing into something unreadable.

"The only people who talked to me before I moved here were the servants and they spoke as little as possible to do their job." Changkyun bristled back. Standing up, he inclined his head icily. "I didn't have brothers or parents. My governess quit when I was twelve and the rest I learned from books I had to steal from my father's library." Changkyun refused to cry. Not here. Not in front of Kihyun. "You'll have to forgive me for not knowing how privileged I am when no one bothered to remember I existed unless it was to tell me I was a mistake."

Kihyun looked like he had been slapped across the face. Changkyun took little delight in it. It was like being back in India where no one explained things but got angry when he didn't know better. "Chan-"

"I have an appointment to keep with your brother. Unless that would be an insult too." Changkyun snatched his jacket from the chair to storm out leaving most of his breakfast untouched. 

Kihyun didn't follow.

Changkyun stomped his way through the manor. Past the house servants. Past another Korean boy he guessed was Minhyuk since he was the only other brother who worked in the manor. Passing through the kitchen Changkyun asked for the cook, Marlene, to make him a picnic basket saying he was going out for an extended walk around the grounds. 

Basket in hand and key in pocket, Changkyun took the long way to the garden just in case anyone followed him out. He wanted it to stay a secret for as long as possible. Something just for him and Jooheon.

When he entered the garden, Jooheon was already inside. Laid out on the cobblestone were rakes, shovels, garden scissors, twine and a few things he didn't recognize. Sitting on the tree next to him were the robin and raven. Seeing them drained the last of the anger out of his system.

"Hi." Changkyun managed to not blush when Jooheon smiled at him. "I brought food."

"I like your shirt." Jooheon touched the collar. "Blue is a good color for you."

"Yeah?" Changkyun knew he was pink faced. "Um. So. What do? I? Uh." Jooheon smiled wider. "Please stop smiling it's distracting."

"I like being distracting." Jooheon chuckled taking the basket from his fingers. "Especially distracting for pretty boys."

"I'm plain at best and ugly most days." Changkyun snorted disbelievingly.

Jooheon shook his head."I think you're pretty."

The word pretty made him think of the taunts from the others on the boat. "_Girls_ are pretty. I'm not a girl."

Jooheon brushed a knuckle down his cheek, eyes sincere. "No, you're a boy _and_ you're pretty. the two don't have to be mutually exclusive."

Changkyun didn't know how to respond to that. Didn't know what to do with his heart fluttering in his chest or his shaking palms. He was woefully ill equipped for everything but this most of all. The few books that his father had that weren't treaties or trading charters had characters that fell in love with girls. That when they felt like this, they were in love or they would kiss. Could he kiss Jooheon? Was he in love? Was it allowed?

He was so confused but Jooheon didn't make a move either toward or away. He let Changkyun work through things at his own pace.

_Squawk_

Charlie's hoarse croak shook them back from whatever pocket of the world they had fallen into.

"The garden." Changkyun forced out past the lump in his throat. "How? Garden? Um." Jooheon watched him a moment longer before relenting.

"For the flower beds, we'll need to pull the weeds by hand." A pair of thick brown leather gloves was pressed into his hands. "You work on the flower beds and I'll work on cutting back the trees.

"Will it hurt the trees?" Changkyun remembered Jooheon saying that they were alive like them.

"No, it won't." The boy pointed to the long drooping branches of the tree holding the swing. "Think of it like a haircut. It can't grow properly if it's not cut back." Changkyun nodded. "Go on Kyunnie." A warm kiss to his cheek sent his heart hammering all over again.

"H-how will I know what are weeds?" He looked down at the overgrown beds. "It all looks the same to me."

"Pull it all. We can plant more flowers later." Jooheon motioned him over. "See these?" He brushed away leaves to show little tips of green popping up. "Leave these. When they bloom, we'll be able to see if they're flowers and if you want to keep them."

"We." The word tipped out in a rush. "If we want to keep them. It's our garden right?" Jooheon blinked a little surprised. "Unless you-"

"No." The surprise melted into fondness, the distracting smile back."Our garden."

Changkyun wanted to kiss Jooheon. He had never met anyone he wanted to kiss. Not in India or the boat or when he came here. Now it was all he could think of. It made his lips tingle imaging it. It made other parts of his body tingle too.

_Squawk_

Again Charlie rocked them back to the task at hand.

"Weeding. Right ." Changkyun pulled on the gloves.

Weeding was harder than Chankyun thought it would it be. It was work. Wonho being so bulky made sense now. Anyone who did this all day every day was bound to be as strong as an elephant.

With careful hands, Changkyun moved debris out of the beds into piles. As it turned out there was more green than he realized. Small delicate shoots pushing out from the cold earth. He wondered what kind of flowers grew here. What colors would they be. How the petals would look tucked into Jooheon's hair.

Daring a glance up through his eyelashes he watched Jooheon tie a bundle of branches with thick twine. Jooheon moved with the same quiet grace as his brothers. In the time it took Changkyun to clear out two beds Jooheon had cut back and bundled the branches for all the trees in the area around them.

"Are you hungry?" Jooheon tossed the new bundle into the pile with the others. "We've been at this for a few hours."

"Yeah. Sure." In truth he was starving. He had barely eaten breakfast before storming out. Feeling his stomach twist again, Changkyun figured it would be best to just tell him. "I might have yelled at your brother." Jooheon spread out a small blanket for them to sit on that Marlene had packed in the basket.

"Which brother? Kihyun?" Changkyun nodded afraid Jooheon would get angry. "He probably deserved it." Jooheon pulled out the food next. "He can get in A Mood which gets him pissy and unlivable." Changkyun wondered if Jooheon would explain the shoe thing.

"He was upset about shoes." Changkyun picked at the hard bread and cheese. "Then got mad because I didn't get it."

Jooheon watched him pensively. Changkyun wanted to evaporate into the air. He didn't understand what was wrong about giving a gift to someone and their family. Were gifts bad?

"We are poor." Jooheon finally spoke as he fed Charlie a piece of cheese. "We're poor and there are nine of us in the house. Things like shoes and clothes are bought once or twice a year."

"What happens when they break?" Changkyun thought of Kihyun's shirt that was so worn it was discolored.

"We fix them." Jooheon fed Charlie another bite. "Master Craven didn't mean it as an insult. He saw that we had a need and he has money so he got us all new shoes." Jooheon shrugged. "He called them gifts but Kihyun and mama got weird about it. Like he was implying we couldn't provide for ourselves."

"Can you?" Changkyun asked shyly.

"Most times. Winter is hard because we need extra everything since it’s cold." Jooheon turned now to feed Changkyun a bite of food making Charlie croak crankily. "Don't worry about it. Kihyun is probably more upset that he upset you."

"No one ever explains things." Changkyun pouted while looking at the manor. "No one explains things and then I get in touble or called stupid or yelled at." The tears burned at his eyes.

"Did they really leave you after your parents died?" A warm hand curled around his.

"Yes." It had been years since he cried, years since he felt human enough to cry. In the face of Jooheon's soft words the walls he had built up threatened to break. "They died and it was nearly a day later before anyone came to look around the house. They thought I was a ghost." Changkyun fed Charlie a piece of his bread. "Even the people at the military base my father worked at didn't know I existed."

Jooheon's hand curled tighter around his but he said nothing. Changkyun lapsed into silence. It felt heavy, a near physical weight around them. The breeze moved through the garden, tree limbs swaying, the fallen leaves scraping against the ground to fill the void. Idly, Changkyun wondered what this place would look like in the summer. What would grow now that it wouldn’t be choked out by dead things and neglect. 

Shifting a bit, Changkyun used food to coax Charlie forward so he could stroke the soft feathers. "You and Wonho are the only people who ever wanted to be my friend." Looking up at the big impossible blue of the sky Changkyun sighed. "I'm scared of meeting my uncle. What if he hates me? What if he sends me away? There must be something wrong with me that no one wants me."

"I do." Jooheon's voice was thick. Glancing over Changkyun realized Jooheon was crying, fat tears rolling down soft cheeks. "I want you." Changkyun felt his eyes burn again. "If he sends you away you can live with us. Or we can run away." The butterflies in his chest were back. "Kyunnie-"

"MASTER CHANGKYUN." Ben's voice called out sounding annoyed as ever. "MASTER CHANGKYUN YOU'RE NEEDED IN THE MANOR." The manor?

"Go on. I'll bring this back later when no one is looking." Jooheon helped him stand before he shifted closer to press their bodies together in a not-quite hug. Another warm brush of lips against his cheek was followed by a small whisper, "You’re wanted here Kyunnie."

Changkyun’s heart was beating overtime. "I-"

"MASTER CHANGKYUN. YOU'RE NEEDED AT THE MANOR." Changkyun glanced over at the north door used to enter the garden. If he walked out that door then Ben would know where he was. The garden wouldn’t be a secret anymore. The magic would be broken and Changkyun didn’t think he could survive that.

"Take the east door and it'll look like you came from the moor." Jooheon lead him over to the door Changkyun assumed was the one Jooheon used to get in and out. Again Changkyun found himself barely an inch away. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Gathering every bit of courage in his body Changkyun ducked forward placing a kiss on Jooheon's cheek, taking just a moment to drink in the boy's shy look. "Bye Jooheon."

Changkyun slipped out the door, then ran so he'd look properly out of breath. Turning the corner, he skidded to a stop. He hoped he looked convincing. Ben stood, dirt covered hands cupped around his mouth. A pair of weathered brown gloves were stuck in his back pocket next to a kerchief that looked well used but the tattered remains of golden embroidery still glinted despite the dirt.

"MAS- oh there you are." Ben looked him over. "Were you in the moors?" Changkyun nodded huffing. "I see. Well Medlock wants you up at the manor. Your uncle wants to see you." Changkyun's heart slammed to a stop. "Well go on, don't keep them waiting or Medlock will make both of our lives miserable."

Changkyun had to actually run back to the manor. His lungs burned and by the time he jogged to a stop at the door Medlock was looking frazzled. He couldn't even properly listen to her words as she talked a mile a minute. He was given five minutes, and not a minute more, to change. For once Changkyun was grateful for almost all of his clothing being black. Digging through he managed to tug on a pair of black slacks, a deep blue shirt and black vest. He supposed he should wear a jacket to keep from looking like a house servant but he was still warm from when he had to run across the grounds. As he stuffed his feet into shiny black shoes Medlock spun him around, nodded approvingly and all but shoved him out the door.

Now sitting in his uncle's study, Changkyun felt small. The furniture was the same dark wood as the rest of the house. The thick curtains drawn over most of the windows leaving the room dimmed. On the far side of the room, three great black hounds lay sleeping, their bodies muscled and ears twitching even in their sleep. Changkyun had heard stories in India about people being killed by packs of wild dogs, how most bodies were unrecognizable in the aftermath of teeth and jaws. A small part desperately wanted to run but he feared that any wrong move would set them off. 

Changkyun sat for nearly an hour before the door opened. He had wondered if his uncle had forgotten him like so many others. Or worse, if this was a test to see how long he could sit still waiting for the punchline of a joke. Those thoughts died when he saw the man.

The long pale face looked like it belonged to someone twice his age. His uncle could be attractive, even in his dishevelment he was handsome. Maybe not handsome, Wonho was handsome. But maybe? Distinctive? The long nose was too promenaint to be beautiful but it had the same profile of his father. Classical, is what Changkyun remembered his governess calling it. A ‘Roman Nose’ with a long jaw ending in a strong chin, thick moustache sitting above a grimace and heavy eyebrows. The closest expression Changkyun could think to give his uncle was grief. Like his mother’s servant Parvati, who had lost a son to the flu and had come back from the funeral in a state of perpetual grief.

Who had this man lost to make him mourn so? Was it his aunt? Medlock had said she died fifteen years ago. Could someone love another human being so deeply that even after all that time the loss was still fresh?

Would Jooheon love him like that? Could _HE_ love somebody like that?

"Hello." The man, his uncle, walked past leaning heavily on a cane. His back was hunched as if a weight was around his neck trying to drag him to the floor. When he did sit down, Craven kept a hand in front of his face as if he was scared to look at him.

"Hello." Changkyun remembered his parents bowed to the Maharaja. Standing he pressed his palms together and bowing low at the waist. The movement caused the hounds to sit up and his uncle to actually look at him. Floundering for something to say Changkyun blurted out, "Thank you for taking me in." 

"Oh my god." His uncle stared up at him with a mix of awe and grief. The wide brown eyes set deeply in a firm brow and framed by waves of soft brown hair. "You look just like them." Craven managed to get to his feet, trembling fingers brushing a bit of hair out of his eyes.

"I don't think I do." Changkyun looked down, his uncle’s grief was too much. It felt too personal to see when Changkyun knew nothing of the man. Daring a glance up through his eyebrows he saw tears lining Craven’s eyes. The soft brown of them reminded him of the dirt around the green stalks in the garden. Like his uncle just needed someone to come clear the debris of his grief to bloom again. "Can I stay here? I won't cause any trouble. I promise."

"How could you possibly cause any trouble?" His uncle moved over to a writing desk, shaking hands opening drawers. "Medlock wants to send you away. Send you to a boarding school or see if you have family in Korea." Craven lifted a picture looking between it and him. It was as if his uncle was watching his aunt die again. The grief seemed to become a living thing, the weight of it making his uncle stoop more. In a soft whisper Craven croaked out, "There is nothing here. For anyone."

"Please." Changkyun pleaded taking a step forward but then stepping back when the hounds sat up again. "I have been left by everyone else. Please don't send me away. I'll stay outside all day and you or Medlock won't ever know I'm here." His uncle put the picture back in the drawer. "If...could. Could I have a bit of earth?"

"A what?" Craven stumbled back to his chair on stilted legs. It was as if they weren't used to holding his weight for long periods of time.

"A bit of earth. To plant things, to watch them grow." Changkyun kept his eyes on the floor. "It doesn't have to be in the main grounds. Just a bit of unwanted earth is all I need and I won't cause any trouble I promise."

"Yes. You can you bit of earth." Craven reached over to pull a chain. Likely calling Medlock if the click of heels outside was anything to go by. "You may stay and have your bit of earth."

"Thank you." Changkyun bowed again. He was nearly buzzing in excitement. Even Medlock herding him out couldn’t kill his mood.

Returning to his room Changkyun found Kihyun there. The older was dusting the room looking guilty. Changkyun watched as Kihyun moved around. It was different than Wonho and Jooheon. Kihyun moved more fluidly, humming lowly as he did so. Kihyun moved like a reed in the wind, or a silk scarf.

"Hey." Changkyun cleared his throat. Kihyun stopped for a moment then continued to clean, body stiffer.

"Hello master C-"

"Please don't." Changkyun stopped him. "We've never been formal before. Please don't begin to do so now." Kihyun stopped, an incredulous look settling on his pretty features. "Jooheon explained the shoe thing."

"I'm sorry I snapped." Kihyun twisted the cloth in his fingers. "I should have at least explained it before getting angry with you."

"No harm done." Changkyun peeled off his dirty clothes. "My uncle is letting me stay." Kihyun brightened a bit. "So you'll have plenty of time to sass me."

*

That night Master Craven left Misselthwaite. Changkyun wasn't sure what he was fleeing but it was clear he was running. Changkyun had missed his uncle's departure, he had been in the garden with Jooheon. The two of them joyful in the knowledge Changkyun was staying and that he was given his bit of earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi to us on Tumblr!  
https://bang-channies.tumblr.com/
> 
> hey kids we got a twitter:  
S - https://twitter.com/hardstansonly  
K - https://twitter.com/BChannies


	4. Summer - The Magic Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The manor has another ghost and Changkyun watches as the magic heals old wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the end! This chap is fucking massive in comparison to the others but there was no good wat to break it down. I hope you enjoyed this as much as i did and thanks for coming on this journey with us - S

Changkyun spent most of his days in the garden with Jooheon. They methodically cleaned out each of the flower beds as the days grew steadily warmer. Jooheon taught him how to prune the trees and bushes so that when spring came they would be able to flourish. The garden was bigger than they had expected it to be. As the clean up dead vines and branches another doorway was uncovered leading them to another section that backed up directly to the moors. Changkyun didn’t get a chance to ask before Jooheon smiled at him saying they would work on this part after they finished in the first.

The second part of the garden had a fountain in the middle, half frozen water green and clogged with dead leaves in all three of its terraced bowls. There were fewer flower beds in the second room but dense bushes stood like soldiers along the walls. The woody limbs twisted out with red tipped hooks sticking out around them every few inches. Changkyun had nearly grabbed one bare handed when Jooheon caught his wrist.

“Rose bushes.” Jooheon carefully grabbed a branch. “See these? The thorns will hurt if you touch them.” Changkyun experimentally pressed his finger to the thorn then gasped when it nearly drew blood. Jooheon didn’t bother to hide his laugh, “Told you.”

“Shut up you.” Changkyun elbowed him playfully. There looked to be over thirty rose bushes surrounding the walls, all of them covered in small little buds of green.

“It’s going to rain.” Jooheon glanced up at the sky. Above them steely grey clouds were rolling in over the horizon of the moors. “See how heavy those clouds are? It will probably be raining for a few days.” Changkyun’s stomach sank. When he had come to Misselthwaite he had no interest in being outside, he preferred the company of his books than people. Now, he wanted to go outside.

He wanted to be with Jooheon.

“Will you come visit me at the manor?” Changkyun watched the clouds roll in, the smell of wet on the air. What was there to do in the manor when it stormed? Changkyun suddenly was afraid he’d be locked back in his room like he had been in India.

“I’ll have to stick close to the house and help my mama out. Her knees get bad when the weather is bad.” Jooheon eyes were on him again.

Jooheon always seemed to be watching him. Changkyun sometimes felt annoyed by it, sometimes he wanted Jooheon to never stop.

“Oh.” Changkyun felt selfish for asking. He already took up so much of Jooheon’s time with the garden he had forgotten the older probably had dozens of other things to do. Wonho had told him that Changkyun usually went out to the moors and helped the animals. Were the animals hurting because he was taking up Jooheon’s time? He didn’t think so, there was always some creature or another following the moor boy in or tucked into his woolen jacket.

“It’s just for a few days Kyunnie.” Lips brushed against his cheek. The touch was so natural now it didn’t make his heart act up anymore. Much.

“I’ll miss you.” Changkyun’s lips tingled but he was too afraid to turn and press them to Jooheon’s. He wanted to. Changkyun had spent nearly every night for the last month thinking about it.

“Kyunnie.” Fingertips on his jaw made his head turn. Changkyun felt his face go pink, heart relocating itself to his throat even as it beat against his chest. Jooheon was still looking at him, their faces close enough he could feel the warmth of Jooheon’s breath curl on his chilled skin.

_Ding. Ding. Ding._

The sound of Medlock’s bell startled them.

“_Gaesaekki_.” Jooheon glared at the manor. 

“What does that mean?” Changkyun stammered out, body still frozen in its spot.

“Roughly?” Jooheon grinned mischievously. “Son of a bitch.” Changkyun barked out a surprised laugh. “Just don’t repeat it or Kihyun will drown both of us in the moors.”

“Yeah, okay.” Changkyun heard another set of bell tolls. “She tells me to stay out of the manor until nightfall but keeps summoning me back in.” Changkyun huffed as he glared at the manor too. Whenever Medlock wanted Changkyun to return to the manor she had Kihyun come outside and ring a bell that echoed across the grounds. The calls had been coming more frequently in the last week until Changkyun was convinced she was just doing it to mess with him.

“Go on Kyunnie. No need to get in trouble.” Jooheon stepped closer. “Unless…” Changkyun turned his head back and nearly headbutted Jooheon. “We could sneak out to the pastures. The babies are going to be born soon.” Jooheon was either radiating heat or Changkyun’s body was going to catch fire.

“Close.” Changkyun blurted out. The older boy didn’t move, but he looked unsure for the first time since they had met. Usually Jooheon liked to see him flustered but maybe his lack of initiative was causing the other to doubt. Eyes dropping down Changkyun whispered, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I could show you.” Jooheon leaned in until their lips nearly touched. Jooheon never pushed, never made a decision for him. It was on him to take the last step. “Kyunnie-”

“MASTER CHANGKYUN.” A voice that Changkyun had come to recognize as Shownu called out. “MEDLOCK NEEDS YOU IN THE MANOR.” 

Jooheon looked as if he was going to step away. Changkyun grasped at the tatters of his courage as tightly as he grasped the collar of Jooheon’s coat. Closing his eyes Changkyun pressed forward the last inch.

Changkyun wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Maybe the world to suddenly change or his heart to explode from his chest like it always threatened to do when Jooheon was near. He didn’t _feel_ different but maybe that was because he wasn’t focusing on himself. All his attention was drawn to the feeling of Jooheon’s chapped lips against his, the little surprised intake of breath when their mouths met.

Changkyun pulled back just a little to take a shaky breath. His whole body felt warm, nearly feverish, his limbs felt like they were buzzing. Glancing up under his eyelashes Changkyun blushed harder at the warm look Jooheon was giving. Different parts of his body started to tingle _more_ under that look.

Would Jooheon show him that too?

“Found you.” Wonho’s voice came from behind them making both him and Jooheon jump. Changkyun’s heart was back in his throat but it wasn’t because he didn’t know how to kiss someone. “Medlock is looking for you.” Wonho simply smiled as if he hadn’t walked in on two boys kissing.

“How did you find our garden?” Jooheon grinned at his brother, arm still around Changkyun’s waist. Changkyun buried his face into Jooheon’s blue scarf to hide his blush. The slow heat of the kiss mixed with the warm wave of realization that Jooheon hadn’t pushed him away when they were spotted.

“Who do you think distracts Ben while you two go in and out?” Wonho rolled his eyes, smile never falling from the kind face. “No one is supposed to be in this garden though. Master Craven’s orders.”

“My uncle said I could have it.” Changkyun blurted out. “I asked for a bit of earth and he said I could have it.” Wonho’s eyebrows went up into the bright red hat. “Okay. Maybe I didn’t specify _which_ bit of earth. But it was unwanted. Please don’t tell Medlock or my uncle.”

“Don’t worry Changkyun.” Wonho crossed his heart. “Your secrets are safe with me.” After a meaningful look Wonho exited the East door as silently as he came, leaving them alone.

“Goodbye Kyunnie.” Jooheon pressed a kiss to his cheek, then to his lips. “Dream about me.”

“Every night.” Changkyun breathed out before he could stop himself. The sly smile he got in return made Changkyun flush bright pink before he dropped his pride and ran to the manor.

*

As it turned out it didn’t rain for two days. It rained for over a week.

By the third day Medlock had finally given Changkyun permission to go into the library as long as he did not take food, drinks or dirty shoes into the room. If he couldn’t see Jooheon at least he could do something other than watch the rain patter against his window. Starting at the first book on the shelf closest to the door Changkyun began to read through the books now available to him.

He had done this with his father’s library. He would read book after book until a shelf had been completed then moved to the next shelf, and the next, until he had read all 500 books in his father’s collection. On his initial inspection it seemed that Craven had double of his father, or more. The leather spines dusty from disuse creaked when he opened them for the first time.

Changkyun sat in the library curled up on a plush leather chair during the eighth day of the rain storm. The thunder had kept him up through most of the night but Medlock refused to let him sleep. If the sun was up, even if they couldn’t see it, they were up. Turning the page of the book Changkyun struggled to pay attention to the words. Something about a rich man and parties and loving another man’s wife. If she was married, why was he so hung up on her?

By the end of the book the man was dead, woman still married and Changkyun bored.

All the books that featured romances never had two boys in love. 

Feeling his eyes drooping Changkyun stood, bones cracking as he stretched. A glance at the clock ticking steadily in the corner showed it was barely eight pm, still too early to go to sleep. Even if he could sleep through the night he would just end up waking up even before Medlock, if anyone could wake up before her. Changkyun watched the clock tick, the pendulum swinging endlessly as the little black hands moved slowly. Slow, steady, inevitable. 

It reminded him, oddly enough, of the garden. How the flowers were creeping up inch by small inch, so slow that sometimes he wondered if they ever moved at all. Now that they had been away he wondered what they looked like. Were the green stalks shooting up through the dirt? Did some of them have the tiny buds that Jooheon kept promising would appear?

Jooheon.

Unbidden but not unwelcome, the memory of the last time he saw the boy filled his mind. Each time he remembered their parting in the garden, his lips tingled in memory. How warm it was, how he could feel Jooheon’s little smile. Face flushed hot, Changkyun wanted to kiss him again, imagined it vividly in his mind. Maybe he would wait until Jooheon was busy and he’d sneak up like the little fox that had taken to following the moor boy in. Or he’d sit on the swing and wave him over, waiting until he was close enough before jumping to his feet. Maybe -

Over the sound of the rain a scream rattled up from the belly of the manor.

It wasn’t the first time he had heard screaming. There had been a few times that he was late getting out of bed and the noise would echo up from somewhere in Misselthwaite. When Changkyun had asked Kihyun if it was the ghost of his aunt haunting the manor the man looked as if he had been slapped. It remained to be one of the few times that Kihyun didn’t explain something to him. The house servant simply going thin lipped and resolutely saying nothing with that pinched look of his.

The scream sounded again.

Changkyun had two choices presented to him. He could return to his book, minding himself and staying out of the way like he had promised his uncle. Or, he could go investigate the ghost.

The third scream made the decision for him. Leaving the book on the table, blue silk ribbon showing the spot he left off, Changkyun quietly slipped out of the library. The hallway was dark, only a few oil lamps lit every few feet to cast a soft glow. Medlock didn’t like using the lights in the hallway, since there were so few of them within the manor it made more sense to just use oil lamps. No doubt Kihyun or Minhyuk would be around shortly to extinguish the flames, especially if they looked into the library to see him gone. Changkyun knew he would have to make it look like he went to bed otherwise the others would come looking for him and he didn’t fancy getting yelled at today.

Returning to his room Changkyun stuffed some clothes under the thick blankets so that looked like someone was sleeping in the vast bed. Changing out his shoes for soft soled slippers and leaving his robe hanging on the chair, Changkyun snuck out the secret passage of his room. Creeping carefully down the hallway to avoid the creaking floorboards, Changkyun made his way to the staircase he had discovered one night as the full moon illuminated the hallway through unshuttered windows.

Following the screams down, down, down, into the house Changkyun wondered if there was a bottom. Did the manor end or simply wind right up to the gate to hell?

Twice he was nearly caught. The farther down he got the more servants ran around the area. Some cleaning, some carrying medical items, and even Minhyuk trailing dutifully behind Medlock despite the look of unbridled annoyance. Each time Changkyun crouched down in the semi-darkness, breathing slowing and all but melting into the shadows. _This_ is what he was used to, what he was good at. Changkyun used to sneak around the bungalow when his parents had guests just to see if he could. He liked to see how far into their parties he could wander before being found or getting bored and sneaking back out.

_Bhoot_. A ghost. That’s what Ahbi called him when the man found him sneaking around. A restless spirit causing mayhem. All that was missing was his feet being backwards or him floating above the ground.

After nearly an hour of searching Changkyun found the source of the screaming. A room with a thick wooden door and a sign tacked to it saying **Medical Staff Only. Must wear gloves and masks.**

“This place is so weird.” Changkyun cracked the door, the hinges oiled so well they did not screech as they moved. 

Slipping inside he walked into a small room filled with white aprons hung neatly on silver hooks, masks and gloves folded into perfect rows on a table beside them. A trolly sat with a tray, stainless steel instruments on top along with rolls of gauze and vials of medicines with too long of names. Sitting there gleaming in the low light were needles, forceps, the thing used to listen to hearts. Changkyun knew most of their functions from the books he had read, and the occasional doctor visit when he was a child, though he doubted he would be able to put any of them to use. On the second shelf of the trolly sat a machine that he recognized. The two metal prongs connected by thick cords to the box would sit against the skin and when the lever was cranked on the box it would make little jolts of electricity. Changkyun remembered his mother used it for headaches.

Did someone here have headaches? Why would you need gloves and a mask for headaches?

“I know someone is in there.” A rough voice called out. “I demand to see you.”

_Demand?_

Bypassing the items Changkyun entered through the double set of doors into the room. While obviously a bedroom, it was grander than his own. The large four posters draped in thick materials that was so black it looked like the night sky, blankets a deep blue. No pictures lined the walls but a few paintings hung evenly spaced. On the far side of the room a warm fire crackled against the wall and oddly the windows were shuttered closed.

“Look at me.” The voice cracked a command like a whip. Changkyun had missed the owner of the voice when he had initially looked over. On the bed buried in more thick blankets sat a boy his age, what would be a beautiful face folded down in a scowl. “Who are you.”

“Changkyun. I’m Master Craven’s nephew.” Changkyun took in the thick lips, soft hair that framed the round face. Even before the boy said it Changkyun knew this was Craven’s son. “Are you a _bhoot_?” The face pinched in annoyance, clearly not understanding. “A ghost. Are you a ghost?”

“My father took you in but he won’t see me.” The boy’s face remained fierce before it wilted a bit, something cold washed over him and closed off his expression. Apathy. Changkyun knew it intimately. “Well Changkyun, I’m no ghost. My name is Hyungwon, I’m your cousin.”

“I didn’t know I had a cousin.” Changkyun had to keep his heart from punching from his chest. He had family. _Real_ family. “D-”

“Medlock doesn’t know your here does she?” Hyungwon stared at the door as if he was worried that speaking her name would summon her. “She’s going to be fit to be tied if she finds out.”

“I’ll go then.” Changkyun took a step back but Hyungwon shook his head no.

“Wait.” Another glance at the door. “Please stay.” Changkyun shifted from foot to foot. He didn’t want to get in trouble but he had been here for months and never knew he had a cousin. The part of him that was afraid he would be sent away was smothered by the part that ached for the boy in front of him. Changkyun knew that look on Hyungwon’s face, loneliness. He had only just been saved from it himself.

Forcing his feet forward Changkyun approached the bed. Hyungwon didn’t move, it was almost as if he couldn’t. Was he born without legs? Were they bum like some of the people he saw dragging themselves through the market? Did he ever get to leave these four walls?

“Was that you screaming?” Carefully he sat on the bed, the two of them openly examining one another. “Awful noisy.”

“The shock treatments hurt.” Hyungwon pointed to where his legs were under the table. “I can’t feel them to walk but I feel it when they shock me.” Changkyun frowned in confusion. “I have a knot in my back, like my father. I’ve been in this bed since birth.”

“_Birth_?” Changkyun looked around the room again. It was true he spent most of his life in his room but still even he had gone outside - or taken by force on some occasions. “No wonder you’re paler than me.”

“They’ve been saying my whole life I’m going to die young.” Hyungwon rested against the pillows. “I wish it would hurry up already. At least then I wouldn’t be stuck here listening to Medlock bitch all the time.” Hyungwon examined the pale blue veins on his arm, several spots purple and angry where blood had been drawn. “I want to meet my mom.”

“You didn’t meet her?” Changkyun asked carefully.

“She died giving birth to me.”

“She is lucky she didn’t become a _chudail_.” Changkyun winced at the glare. Maybe it was something about their shared British blood that made them cranky.

“I don’t speak Korean. Medlock won’t allow it.” Hyungwon’s frown deepened, hand dragging through the long black hair.

“It’s not Korean. Its Hindi.” Changkyun leaned back to rest on his arms. Changkyun wondered if he accidentally leaned on one of the long legs if Hyungwon would notice. “I grew up in India. I didn’t know my mother either. Or my father.”

“How did you live with them all this time and never know them?” Changkyun arched his eyebrow at Hyunwon’s bitter tone.

“The same way you’ve lived here with your father and have never seen him I suppose.” Tilting his head to the side Changkyun continued. “They didn’t want me. I was raised by servants and my Ahbi though he was a fair bit nicer than Medlock. He at least let me sleep in past dawn.”

“What is a chu-il.” Hyungwon asked giving his best attempt at the foriegn word. It was apparent his cousin had no wish to continue that line of conversation.

“_Chudail_. They are shapeshifters, they usually kill men.” Changkyun wracked his brain trying to remember what Ahbi and Parvati told him. “They’re made when a woman dies giving birth or are killed while pregnant. Sometimes they can come back as vengeful ghosts.” Hyungwon’s eyes widened. “I think your mom knew she was loved, and so her spirit was not angry.”

“India is a strange place.” Hyungwon finally spoke, eyes fixed on a piece of wall behind him. “Though I suppose England is strange for you.”

“It’s cold.” Changkyun craned his neck around to see what Hyungwon was staring so intently at but only found a curtain. “And everyone is cranky.”

“I’m told it’s part of the charm.” Hyungwon wiggled down a bit more to rest in the pillows. “Not that it’s much coming from Minhyuk.”

“I haven’t really met him yet. What’s he like?” Changkyun was curious about the mostly unknown brother. Anytime he had seen Minhyuk the man had been with Medlock.

“H-”

“Master Craven?” A knock sounded making them both jump. Medlock.

“There is a set of stairs behind that wall.” Hyungwon whispered, pale finger pointing to piece of wall by the fireplace. “My father uses it and we both pretend I don’t see him.” Changkyun glanced at the door wondering we would be able to make it. “_Go_.”

Bolting across the room Changkyun managed to slip into the hidden door and close it before the click of Medlock’s heels entered the room. With measured movements up the dusty wooden stairs Changkyun found a small open area that allowed him to see into the room below. Hyungwon could see him if he looked up but Medlock stood with her back to it. Knowing that an accidental glance from the woman wouldn’t reveal his hiding spot Changkyun listened to what sounded like a well worn argument.

In well practiced movements Medlock fluttered around the bed fussing at an impassive Hyungwon, the grey of her hair shining silver in the firelight. At the door Minhyuk stood with his face covered by a white mask, hands holding a tray but making no effort to help. Once Changkyun swore could see the man roll his eyes at the woman’s display.

“I want my leg braces.” Hyungwon spoke clearly when Medlock finally stopped her hummingbird hovering. “I want to learn how to walk.”

“Absolutely not.” Medlock fluffed the pillows behind him clearly agitated. “The last time you tried you fell and broke a rib. Your father has agreed with the doctor that you need to remain here.” Hyungwon’s face darkened. “Even if you _could_ walk, where would you go? The spores outside would make you ill and your immune system is already weak.”

That made Changkyun pause. Hyungwon didn’t _look_ fragile, a little pale perhaps but nothing that sun couldn’t fix. Then again, maybe he did have an immune issue. There were books in his uncle’s library that were written about all kinds of illnesses that could not be seen from the outside. Did not wearing a mask put his cousin at risk? Would he die?

“Medlock, I don’t want to stay locked in here.” Hyungwon threw a pillow at her feet, eyes flashing. “I won’t be a prisoner in my own home.”

Changkyun watched as the two battled silently. Hyungwon on the bed looking ready for a fight while Medlock stood, arms crossed in front of her chest. He wondered how long they had been at this impasse. How long Hyungwon had been fighting for basic freedoms only to be reminded he was a bird with no wings. 

A boy locked in a box where his only company was a stern matroness, a silent boy and a father who wouldn’t see him. 

“Master Craven, you will remain in this room.” Medlock’s voice was brittle yet resolute. At the door Minhyuk’s shoulders visibly sagged. “I am in charge of your care and I will not have you killing yourself to spite your father.”

“WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER?” Hyungwon shouted making Changkyun jump so hard he nearly fell down the stairs. “I’m going to die anyway, at least let me see _something_ other than this room before I do.”

Two things happened then. First was the door bursting open, an elderly doctor coming in carrying a syringe while Medlock held Hyungwon’s thrashing body to the bed. Second was Changkyun looked over to find Minhyuk staring directly at him, face obscured and unreadable through the mask.

Heart in his throat Changkyun fled up the remaining stairs.

That night when Changkyun dreamt it wasn’t of India. It wasn’t of his parents flitting around as butterflies at a garden party. That night he dreamt about two little boys locked in cages, both unloved and drowning in their sadness.

*

After meeting his cousin the rain stopped and Changkyun was no longer allowed to stay in the house despite the mud and chill. The same hands of fate that had brought them together now cleaved them apart with the same jarring suddenness. When Changkyun had woken up after meeting Hyungwon the sky was cloudless and birds flew in the endless blue of it. As he ate his breakfast Changkyun wondered what Hyungwon looked at if not the sky. Did they bar the windows because of the spores? Or was it a kindness to blind him to what he could never have?

His musings of cruelty and mercy were interrupted by Medlock hurrying him through his meal before all but dumping him into the still chilly spring air. The lawn still had pockets of water with a thin covering of ice, and the trees had not begun to bloom. However, being outside meant being with the two things he dearly missed - Jooheon and the garden.

Except, when Changkyun had made his way to their garden Jooheon wasn’t there. Nor was he there the next day, or the day following. In his absence the familiar feeling of dread bubbled in his stomach, doubt began to crawl itself up until his lungs felt as choked out as the rose bushes. Where was his friend? 

Over the next week Changkyun worked what he could in the garden. Weeding, cutting back, tying bundles of sticks in a poor imitation of Jooheon’s bundles. Around him the garden began to take on more color, just like how the clock continued to tick on in the library. More green had pushed its way through the brown soil, small leaf buds had begun forming on the trees. His only companion while he worked was the robin red breast he had spoken to the first day he found this place.

“Maybe he kissed me and figured out he didn’t like boys.” Changkyun sighed sitting on a stone bench to talk to the robin nested in the tree. There was nothing left to do in the garden, at least nothing he knew how to do. All the flower beds, even the rose bushes in the second room, had been cleared out. It had taken the better part of two days but Changkyun managed to clean out the inside of the fountain and the little pond he found when he stepped off the path and his foot went through ice.

_Chirp._ The robins head tilted sideways.

“I can’t speak bird like Jooheon can.” Changkyun’s eyes fell to the picnic basket of food that would likely go back untouched like all the baskets he had brought out before. “Ben has Wonho and Shownu working over time, they aren’t even allowed to talk to me since the rain made more work for them to do. Kihyun hasn’t been at the manor and even Minhyuk is missing.” Changkyun’s shoulders slumped. “I should have known.” His eyes burned, the slap-thud of his heart made it feel like it was going to simply stop and turn to dust.

_Chirp chirp_

“Maybe I should have let my uncle send me away.” Changkyun tore his gaze to look around the garden. “Stupid. I’m so stupid.” Standing up Changkyun kicked the basket feeling only a little better as the contents tumbled to the ground. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

_Chirp_

“He said he wanted me.” Changkyun felt all the fight from drain out from him in a sudden rush leaving him hollow. Changkyun picked up the basket, placing only the dishes and forks back in but leaving the food for the animals to eat. “Is there a word in Korean for idiot?”

The silence just made his heart hurt.

Changkyun returned to the manor at dusk, empty basket in hand. He had sat in the garden watching the birds eat the pieces of hard bread, some of them even coming close enough to let him pet them. It seemed as if the wild animals that followed Jooheon around had also taken a liking to him. Changkyun wondered now that Jooheon had left if they would disappear too. Everyone disappeared.

Changkyun dropped the basket in the kitchens ignoring Marlene’s curious stare at the small dent in the side. He hadn’t even offered her a lie about it falling or being knocked over. With heavy feet Changkyun trudged up the staircase to his room, the thick tapestries on the walls blocking out the sounds of the manor. 

“I see you’re moping.” Changkyun blinked in confusion at Minhyuk sitting at the little table he ate breakfast at. “Why are you so sad little lord?”

“I’m tired. I would like to rest please.” Bypassing the man Changkyun slipped off his dirty clothes. Part of him was terrified, the memory of the man watching him in Hyungwon’s hidden stair. The other part was too detached at the realization that Jooheon had gotten bored of him.

“I saw you the other night.” Minhyuk stirred a cup of tea. The slight scrape of silver against china made Changkyun’s teeth hurt.

“I know.” Changkyun tried to keep from his voice but he didn’t think it worked.

“No gloves. No mask.” Minhyuk’s face didn’t change nor did his tone. “And yet Master Hyungwon lives on. A miracle.” 

“Are you going to tell Medlock?” Changkyun had lived with that fear every moment of the last seven days. He kept expecting her to come in and drag him out to feed to his uncle’s dogs.

Silence hung between them for a few moments until Changkyun thought he had simply gone deaf. Turning back to Minhyuk he waited.

“Hyungwon needs a friend.” Minhyuk sipped at his tea pensively, eyes tracking Changkyun’s movement. “Desperately needs a friend. Will you be his friend?”

“Medlock will have both of our heads.” Changkyun evaded the question. He had already planned on going down to visit Hyungwon tonight but Minhyuk didn’t need to know that. The emptiness in his chest was best not left alone to fester and if it meant listening to his cousin snipe? Well, at least he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts.

“She’s going to kill him if he stays in that room.” The blue shirt fell from his numb fingers, face comical in his shock. Kill him? “Not intentionally of course. She really does want the best for him.” Minhyuk took another drink of tea, eyes unblinking. “He is the closest she has to a son and her the closest he has to a mother.” Another sip. “But he’s dying in that room. No sunlight, no people or animals. I catch him eyeing the sedative vials sometimes.”

“So help him.” Changkyun felt gooseflesh pebble along his now bare skin as a stray breeze seeped through the closed window. 

“_I_ am bound to Lord Craven’s orders.” Minhyuk poured another cup of tea, thin fingers dropping a sugar cube in the cup. “_You_ are not.”

“Can he walk?” Changkyun shivered a bit, hands groping behind him for the thick robe hanging from the corner of the bed. The soft material immediately warmed him when it slid over his shoulders. He would hunt down a shirt after Minhyuk left and he dressed to sneak through the manor.

“Honestly? I don’t know.” For the first time a real emotion crossed Minhyuk’s face. It made him go softer around the edges, dark eyes unicing for just a moment. “He’s been in that bed fifteen years. His legs may not work even if there is no lump on his spine.

“Why do you want to help him?” Changkyun made his way to sit at the small table with Minhyuk on the rarely used second chair. “Why me?”

“Jooheon trusts you with his animals while he’s sick.” Minhyuk smiled a little softer.

“Sick?” Changkyun paused reaching for the tea pot. If he was sick, it would explain why Jooheon had been absent. “Is...is that...is he okay?”

“I’ve been trying to catch you all week to tell you that he and Kihyun caught a spring cold.” Minhyuk sighed a little sad. “Between Medlock running me ragged in Kihyun’s absence and your uncanny ability to move around without being seen I haven’t been able to find you before you’re sleeping.”

Changkyun took a slow drink of tea to avoid answering. There were too many thoughts rolling around his head to pick one to focus on. Maybe Jooheon _did_ want him. Maybe he still liked boys, still liked him.

“This is for you.” Minhyuk reached into a pocket to pull out three sleek black feathers tied together by a thin blue ribbon. “Charlie was molting and Jooheon thought you would like to have a few of them.” Changkyun held the feathers reverently, one finger sliding up the spine of the largest. “He really likes you.” Changkyun could feel the weight of Minhyuk’s gaze but kept his eyes on the gift. “Jooheon was afraid you’d be angry with him.”

Shaking his head no Changkyun found his tongue. “As long as he doesn’t die.”

“Die? From the cold?” Minhyuk couldn’t quite smother a quiet laugh. “Do people die in India from colds?”

“Every day.” Changkyun kept petting the soft feathers ignoring the soft ‘oh’ from Minhyuk. “The flu took Parvati’s son when I was twelve. The Cholera took my parents in a single night.” Finally he lifted his eyes to the man. “It took my Ahbi too. Took everyone but me.” Minhyuk’s eyes were full of pity. Changkyun didn’t want his pity and for the first time he understood why Kihyun was upset about the shoes. “Tell him I won’t forgive him if he dies.”

“I will.” Minhyuk promised, voice soft.

“If you stay here I can’t sneak out.” Changkyun rose from his chair to place the black feathers in the small box with his mother’s jewelry.

Minhyuk’s laugh was accompanied by the clinking of tea cups and then the door closing. Changkyun changed his clothes quickly, soft sole slippers back on and the twin hair pins stuffed in his pocket. After adding a bundle of clothes under his blankets Changkyun slipped out of his room, this time taking the back way he had found when he left Hyungwon’s room the week before.

As Changkyun walked through the dusty halls he couldn’t help but wonder why there were secret passages. This didn’t seem like it would be good for wartime, there were too many windows even if the brick was sturdy. Maybe it was so the servants could move around unseen when this place had been full of people. Surely at some point in the six hundred years the manor had stood on the misty moors it had held life. When had it decayed? When his aunt died? Before then? Could it be coaxed back from the grave?

Pausing a moment, Changkyun looked through the window into Hyungwon’s room. On the bed his cousin sat staring blankly at the barred windows, open book in his lap. The long back hair lay wet against his skin, likely from a bath. 

“I know you’re there.” Hyungwon didn’t look away from the window. “I thought I dreamt you.”

“You’re not creative enough to dream up someone like me.” Changkyun quipped descending the stairs to enter the room. Hyungwon still kept his eyes trained on the small sliver of moonlight that was peeking through the shutters. “I haven’t heard any screaming.” Changkyun sat on the edge of the bed. “No shock treatments?”

“What’s the point of screaming?” Hyungwon blinked slowly, as if his body had forgotten it was something it needed to do until that point. “What’s the point of anything?”

“I used to ask that all the time.” Changkyun looked down, fingers picking at the blanket. “I still haven’t found an answer to be honest.” Hyungwon only hummed. “Minhyuk saw me.”

“I know.”

“Do you think he’ll tell Medlock?” Changkyun glanced up to find himself pinned under impassive black eyes.

“Does it matter?” Hyungwon questioned, lips forming a frown. “Why are you here?”

Changkyun didn’t answer immediately. Why was he here? Why did he risk getting in trouble with Medlock and ignore the potential consequence of being thrown out or sent away? The answer was simple. It would be so easy to pretend he had simply dreamt Hyungwon or forget him. To hide away in his unwanted garden with Jooheon. 

He could be just like his parents.

“My parents didn’t want children.” Changkyun admitted, eyes meeting Hyungwon’s. “They did everything they could to forget I existed.” Pulling out the hair pins from his pocket Changkyun gave Hyungwon the one he pulled from his aunt’s abandoned dressing room. “I know what it’s like to be forgotten. To be stuffed in a little room, your only friend the person who begrudgingly takes care of you.” 

Changkyun didn’t touch people often, rather people didn’t touch _him_ often. Not in India, not in England. So when Hyungwon’s fingers curled around his own it took all his will power not to flinch. Sitting in the heart of a dead manor, connected by blood and loneliness the two boys let the silence wrap around them.

*

Changkyun was up at dawn, before even Medlock. He and Hyungwon had talked long into the night about everything they could think of. Only when a sharp knock came to his door in the early hours of the morning did Changkyun retreat to his room. Instead of trying to sleep Changkyun laid in bed trying to think of a way he could help Hyungwon. He had simply learned to walk, he didn’t know how to help someone who seemed to miss a fundamentally important part of the process. Could Jooheon help?

Thoughts of Jooheon once again stirred things in his body.

Now that he knew Jooheon was sick, and _not_ going to die, the heaviness in his heart lifted. Instead of dread filling his gut an unfamiliar but not unpleasant warm sensation took its place. Changkyun placed a hand on his stomach curiously, the warmth pooled lower so he followed it down. Down over his hips and oh.

_Oh._

Changkyun jerked his hand back, eyes wide and cheeks red. Why was _there_ interested in Jooheon?

Scrunching his eyes closed Changkyun moved his hand down again, a small gasp punching itself out when his palm pressed against himself. Getting bolder Changkyun pressed down harder and his toes curled in response to the fire that was filling his body. This wasn’t the first time Changkyun’s body had reacted like this but it was the first time he didn’t simply ignore it. Pulling the memory of Jooheon’s lips against his, Changkyun pressed harder making his hips buck up. He thought of kissing Jooheon again, of maybe touching him under layers of undyed wool. Of Jooheon peeling back his own layers to touch.

“_AH_!” Changkyun gasped, body curling in on itself as the coil in his stomach suddenly tightened behind his spine then exploded out. The heat made his limbs go heavy even as his mind filmed over like the pockets of water in the moor.

He didn’t have a name of what just happened but it left him feeling pleasantly sleepy if not a bit sticky.

Changkyun floated in and out of sleep for a few hours before Medlock pushed open his door, tray of oatmeal in hand. He waited until she flung open the curtains, mumbling about spring and more trouble than the winter. Changkyun sat in bed as Medlock nodded her approval at him being awake and waited until she left the room before getting out of bed, nightshirt stuck to his stomach. Peeling it off pulled at the fine hairs and made him wince as it slowly unglued from his body.

“Don’t let it dry. Got it.” Changkyun rubbed at where his stomach felt a little raw.

At the little table Changkyun ate his meal, still grimacing at the texture of the oatmeal. Changkyun wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to it but he appreciated the food all the same. As he added more sweet cream to the oatmeal he wondered how long colds lasted if they didn’t kill someone. It had been a week already, if Changkyun had known it was a cold he would have already assumed Jooheon and Kihyun were long buried.

Changkyun trudged himself out to the garden. He wasn’t sure what was left to do but he couldn’t stay in the manor. Despite the slight dent in the side Marlene still sent out the basket full of food telling him to be careful not to drop it. It seemed as if she was either simply oblivious to what made the dent or was wilfully ignoring it. Either way Changkyun promised to take better care of the basket.

Skirting around the outside garden Changkyun followed the stone gate that separated the main grounds from the moor. If he followed it all the way down he wondered if he would end up at the ocean. How big was England? India was immense but England always looked too small to hold as much power as it did.

_Squawk!_

The familiar caw of Charlie made Changkyun bolt up from where he had leaned against the gate.

_Squawk!_

Changkyun managed to keep his fingers tightened around the basket as his legs propelled him forward. Another caw had him all but sprinting down to the east gate that lead into the garden.

Skidding to a stop at the entrance Changkyun threw his weight against the heavy wooden door. Standing in the middle of the stone path looking around was Jooheon, face half buried in a light blue scarf. Hopping around at Jooheon’s feet, Charlie picked at the bits of bread Changkyun had been leaving over the last few days for the birds. Around the garden two lambs stumbled too and fro under Jooheon’s gaze. Heart filled with overwhelming relief at the sight of the other, Changkyun took a moment to take the fact that Jooheon was back, his dark clothes in stark contrast to the grey of the stones.

“You didn’t die.” Changkyun, mindful of his promise to Marlene, set the basket down gently before shutting the door. “The cold didn’t kill you.” Changkyun stumbled forward terrified that this was a dream or that he was just imagining the man.

“Sorry I kept you waiting.” Jooheon pulled off a set of mittens, palms like fire on Changkyun’s cold cheeks. “I’d kiss you but I’m still a little sick.”

“I don’t care.” Changkyun pulled Jooheon down to brush their lips together, the coil in his stomach returning. Changkyun allowed himself to sink into Jooheon like he sank into his pillow.

_Squawk!_

“Charlie missed you too.” Jooheon hummed lowly against his lips. “Did you get my gift?” Changkyun nodded before catching Jooheon’s mouth in another kiss. To his surprise Jooheon’s hands left his cheeks, the work calloused fingers wound themselves in his hair. 

The familiar fire burned through his body while Changkyun kissed Jooheon. It crawled up from his belly only to slide down his spine and finally come to rest in his hips. The image of Jooheon touching him took shape in his mind again.

“Did you miss me?” Jooheon questioned between another set of kisses.

“Yes.” Finally Changkyun pulled back to catch his breath, lips swollen and tingling. “I was...I thought…” Changkyun’s eyes dropped in shame. “I thought you didn’t want me. That you left.”

“I’m right here Kyunnie.” Jooheon held him fiercely. 

Changkyun’s heart was beating so hard it hurt. Thoughts of Jooheon kissing him or touching him often crossed his mind, especially when he was in the half state between awake and asleep but somehow this felt more intimate. Jooheon’s arms wrapped around him, torsos pressed together making his body burn more than even when he had touched himself.

“What’s wrong?” Jooheon questioned when Changkyun didn’t hug him back.

“Nothing.” Wrapping his arms around Jooheon’s waist Changkyun buried himself into the boy’s body. “I’m just...I’m happy to see you.” He was rewarded with a kiss to his hair. 

Changkyun had never had a home but Jooheon felt like what he thought one would be.

When the two finally broke apart Changkyun let Jooheon twine their fingers together while he led him around. Changkyun showed him the garden beds, all immaculate save for the shoots of green steadily getting bigger. Next Changkyun showed him the trees, their limbs cut back and small buds on the thin green branches.

“You even got the rose beds done.” Jooheon kissed his cheek, voice filled with pride.

“And the fountain.” Changkyun led him over to the still empty basins. “Did you know there is a small pond in here?” Jooheon’s eyebrows crawled up to his hairline. “I found it by stepping in it.” Changkyun pulled him over. “I think there is fish in here.”

“Probably.” Jooheon crouched down. “When it gets cold they go to sleep.” Changkyun watched Jooheon crouch lower, face going nearly level with the ground. “Koi.”

“kOye?” Changkyun frowned trying to see what Jooheon was looking at. “What are those?”

“Kh-O-y.” Jooheon corrected gently. “They’re fish from Asia.” Changkyun’s mouth fell into an ‘o’. “Lord Craven, as I’m told, did his best to make this garden look like the late Lady Craven’s garden when she lived in Korea.” Changkyun looked around the garden wondering for the hundredth time what it would look like when it bloomed. “Don’t led Medlock fool you. Master Craven loved his wife and respected her culture, _our_ culture.”

“What happened?” Changkyun’s eyes were drawn back to the water holding mysterious sleeping fish.

“She died.” Jooheon sat back up, hand reaching for a stick to break up the ice some more. “No one talks about it, but it’s whispered that she fell off the swing here. Master Craven has never been the same.” Changkyun’s eyes were immediately drawn to the thick rope swing. It no longer seemed innocent or even romantic. Changkyun wondered if they should simply cut it down or if they should leave it in memoriam. “Did you know? Mine and my brother’s mothers came to England with Lady Craven. My mama was supposed to go to India with Lady Lennox, your mama, but by the time they left Kihyun was already born. Master Craven allowed her stay so she could be with my papa.”

Changkyun shuddered at the idea of Kihyun and Jooheon in India. It was likely with how affectionate they were as people they would have been taken by the cholera. They would have known him when he was insufferable. Maybe they would have grown to hate him like everyone else had before he moved here. He was grateful his uncle allowed their mama to stay here in England where the could be happy and _alive_.

“I met my cousin.” Changkyun admitted when they were stretched out on the stone dias. It was still too cold to do much but they sat next to each other, sides pressed together sharing heat as they watched the clouds roll around the sky. “Minhyuk caught me.”

Next to him Jooheon was pensive for a few moments. It was a risk to admit that he had broken his promise but Changkyun trusted Jooheon with everything else. Trusted him with the garden. Changkyun knew he could trust him with this.

“I know.” Jooheon finally admitted. “Minhyuk told me. He wanted to know if you could be trusted.” Changkyun held his breath. Did Jooheon trust him too?

“What did you tell him?” Changkyun hoped Jooheon would ignore the crack in his voice.

“I trust you Kyunnie.” Jooheon squeezed his hand.

*

Changkyun crept through the manor quiet as a ghost. After seeing Jooheon, Changkyun wanted to visit Hyungwon again. His cousin was often in his mind. He knew he couldn't visit every night, but he didn't want to go too long lest Hyungwon thought Changkyun had abandoned him.

Stopping at the top of the stairs Changkyun peeked into the room. At the end of the bed Medlock stood arms crossed watching a doctor Changkyun didn't remember seeing before. The man slowly stretched out Hyungwon's legs one at a time.

"You seem to have gotten stronger since the last time I came." The doctor spoke quietly. "Have you been doing the exercises?"

"Yes." Hyungwon's voice was muffled from being face down on a pillow. "Now tell Medlock to give me back my leg braces and cane."

"_No._" Medlock's voice snapped like a whip. "Your fa-"

"My father hasn't been to see me in nearly a year, what would he know?" Hyungwon hissed venomously. "Give. Them. Back."

"I will not bend to your tantrums." Medlock snapped. The woman had a way of making herself tower even above people taller than her. Even when it wasn’t directed at him, it made Changkyun feel small.

The doctor looked _clearly_ uncomfortable. Instead of inserting himself in the argument he continued manipulating the muscles. With Minhyuk’s help, they moved Hyungwon to his back for another set.

Part of him wanted to sneak around and find the leg braces for Hyungwon but it was likely Medlock kept them under lock and key. Or kept them in her room which Changkyun wouldn’t dare to step foot in no matter how willing he was to break the rules. It did give Changkyun an idea though.

Jooheon had talked about helping the baby animals learn to walk, he had raised Charlie nearly from a hatchling. If anyone could help teach Hyungwon to walk it would be him. And if Minhyuk was the doctor’s assistant maybe he knew where they could get another set. With spring nearly upon them, they could… what? Medlock would send him all the way back to India if he asked to take Hyungwon outside. Changkyun couldn’t rightly bring Jooheon _inside_ either.

A heavy hand wrapping around his mouth nearly made Changkyun scream.

“Shh.” The noise was barely audible but after the initial panic passed Changkyun realized who it was. Kihyun.

He was already fucked.

Quietly, he followed Kihyun back through the manor. To his surprise Kihyun lead him through the hidden hallways, only the door he opened was one that was in the room adjacent to his own. If Minhyuk had told Jooheon it was likely he had told Kihyun about seeing him on the stairs.

“Are you trying to get kicked out?” Kihyun demanded after locking the door. “Once wasn’t enough? Medlock _will_ catch on. She’s been stewardess of this house too long to not realize you will go where you shouldn’t.”

“Then help me.” Changkyun pleaded. Hands out in supplication, he begged, “You know he’s dying in there.”

“We have our orders.” Kihyun refused to look him in the eye. “Minhyuk and I are bound to Lord Cravens orders.”

“How do I get him another set of braces? Or access to his old set?” Changkyun pressed. He had never begged like this, never felt so desperate. He was used to demanding, to ordering but that wouldn’t work here. Least of all with Kihyun. “You can’t help him, fine. _I_ will.”

“You will not and you will leave my brothers out of this.” Kihyun puffed up again. “You know nothing about life here. You just walked in and star-”

“I walked in and obeyed every stupid rule in this stupid house made by stupid people.” Changkyun shot back hotly. “I wanted to be able to read, I was told no. I wanted to be left alone and I was thrown outside in weather that I had never been in.” Kihyun looked down guilty. The house servant seemed to age several years all at once. “And it was all to keep me from meeting my cousin who is Lord of the house while my uncle is away.” Changkyun squared his shoulders. “Maybe I am a spoiled brat. Maybe I don't know what it’s like to be poor. But what I do know is sitting in the same box every day of my life nearly killed me and it’s killing him.”

“Changkyun please.” Kihyun ran a hand through his black hair. 

“No.” Retreating to the door Changkyun leveled the same glare his mother used to give when he was caught in her parties. “I will help him. I will save my cousin and if I have to call my uncle directly to tell Medlock to give up Hyungwon’s things so be it.” Kihyun went nearly pale. “I’ll show all of you what a spoiled brat I can be.”

Changkyun checked the hallway through the cracked door before slipping out and entering his room. Changing from his loose clothes to his sleep clothes he began to devise a plan to at least get Hyungwon out of bed in the manor. If they could get him walking than he could sneak out when Medlock wasn’t paying attention. He could take Hyungwon to his mother’s garden and maybe walk out to meet his father the next time Master Craven returned from his trip. If Hyungwon could walk then his uncle might not feel like he had to run away anymore.

When Changkyun woke the next morning Kihyun had already dropped off his breakfast, the steam rising meant he had not missed the man by much. It was likely Kihyun was still too agitated to talk to him. Climbing out of the bed to shrug on his thick robe Changkyun made his way to the table. Like usual the bone white bowl with pale blue flowers filled with oatmeal waited, a few thick slabs of bacon sitting off to the side. Changkyun ate his breakfast in silence, a stark comparison to the usual witty banter between himself and Kihyun.

Halfway through his meal Changkyun picked up the honey container to add more. Under the china a small folded piece of paper lay hidden.

_“Braces in Craven’s room, armoire. Take the bacon. Don’t get bit.”_

Changkyun stared at the note unbelievingly, eyes rereading the words over and over. Kihyun was helping him. He was turning the same blind eye that Minhyuk did and told him where to find the one thing that Changkyun couldn’t provide. Changkyun all but drank the last of his oatmeal before scrubbing off in the warm bath that waited for him. 

In his all black attire Changkyun slipped into the hidden hallway to his aunt’s room, the pieces of bacon wrapped in a napkin resting in his pocket. As he picked his way through the connected room Changkyun found himself in his uncle’s rarely used room. The bed was made, everything dusted and Just So in the way Medlock kept the house. Changkyun looked around and found the armoire he needed but at its base was the three hounds. Despite a careful step forward, the hounds’ heads raised up, a small growl echoed in the small room.

Heart in his throat Changkyun pulled out the bacon, the hounds all tilting their heads at the smell. Breaking a piece in half he held it out with trembling fingers. The largest of the three came over, thick drool dripping from its mouth. For the dog’s big body it accepted the bacon with gentleness, warm tongue flicking out to lick the grease from his fingers. With the other two approaching, Changkyun broke the remaining half of bacon into two pieces and held them out, the dogs taking them with the same surprising gentleness.

Feeling a little brave, Changkyun took a step toward the armoire. When he received no aggression, he took another step. Then another. The three dogs remained at his side sniffing at his bacon filled pocket but they made no move to attack. Not even when he jiggled the handle of the armoire until it finally opened. Hanging on the rack was a set of metal and leather leg braces, next to them a red wooden cane. Changkyun wondered if the braces would even fit Hyungwon now, but they could address that later. For now he had to remove the pieces and get them back to his room before anyone noticed him missing.

On his way out, Changkyun made sure the armoire was closed exactly how he found it and left no traces of his presence. Giving each hound their own piece of bacon, he closed the door behind him and retraced his steps back to his room. As he passed through his aunt’s dressing room, Changkyun hid the items under the abandoned hanbok. If Medlock searched his room, as he suspected she did, he did not want her finding Hyungwon’s items. It would only get them both in trouble.

“Where is that dreadful child.” Medlock’s voice snapping on the other side of the hidden door made his heart freeze in his chest. “Kihyun, find him and get him outside.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kihyun sounded skittish. Changkyun would have been worried Medlock found the note but Changkyun had eaten it to destroy it. It was the only way he could be sure Medlock wouldn’t find it.

Changkyun waited after the door slammed. He counted all the way to one hundred before he dared to slip through the door. Inside the room Kihyun sat at the foot of his bed gnawing at his fingernails. Pressing a finger to his lips Kihyun looked between him and the door.

Medlock was waiting.

Changkyun changed into his outside wear faster than he thought he ever had before, then Kihyun all but pushed him through the hidden door. He had one duty, to get outside as quickly as possible and as unseen as possible. At least until he passed through the kitchens for his daily basket. It would - hopefully - keep them both out of trouble with Medlock.

Changkyun figured a god of some form was on his side. Some omnipotent being had to have been kind enough to shield him from the eyes of Misselthwaite, because he managed to sneak down two floors and out the door before Medlock cornered him. Changkyun had been just about to start his long trek around the grounds to the secret garden when he found himself facing the stewardess of the manor.

“And just where have you been?” Medlock leveled a cool gaze.

“I didn’t get to finish my chapter in the book I was reading.” Changkyun lied easily. He had not blinked in the face of his parent’s anger when they were alive, he would not be cowed now. “I was up early and wanted to finish the last few pages before coming outside.” Medlock’s gaze made him feel small. Like one of the dissected and pinned animals that had been drawn in his father’s books.

“Next time you will leave a note.” Medlock set her jaw. “I should make you go to bed without supper.” Changkyun refused to look away. “Go on.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Changkyun began his route to the garden. Only this time he did not go to the secret garden. Medlock was likely watching him from high in the manor.

Instead Changkun took his picnic basket and went to the main gardens. He shared his lunch with Wonho and Shownu and Ben under the ever warming sunlight. Jooheon seemed to catch on nearly an hour later when he showed up, Charlie on his shoulder and Wonho giving a meaningful that both brothers understood.

***

Two weeks later, Changkyun felt confident enough to go to Hyungwon’s room again. Medlock had finally stopped trailing him everywhere. She had finally stopped asking dozens of questions every time he turned around and still he had waited an extra week. It was risky going to Hyungwon’s room as it was, doing so while she suspected he was up to no good would only get them caught quicker. Changkyun hoped that by the time she caught on to what was happening, his uncle would be back and he could plead his case directly to him. If they could get Hyungwon walking again, then maybe he wouldn’t be sent away.

Both braces and cane were wrapped in a hanbok that Changkyun found in a wardrobe untouched by dust and birds. That was another project he had started while he couldn’t sleep at night. He had closed the windows back up and started the process of cleaning his aunt’s room. There were things that he wasn’t able to save, fabrics that had been left out over the course of the fifteen years she had been dead that were covered in all kinds of nastiness. However, other parts were salvageable. The chairs, the partition, the vanity that was a twin to his mother’s. If he could salvage the room and the garden maybe it would give his cousin the extra motivation to walk again.

This time when Changkyun arrived at Hyungwon’s room there was no one there. Only his cousin and his perpetually sour face. Counting slowly to one hundred Changkyun finally made his way down into the room itself.

“You’re back.” Hyungwon shifted to move himself up on the bed. Hyungwon still looked pale and gaunt but he brightened when he saw the bundle of fabric in his hands. The long brown hair was tied back in a ribbon which allowed Changkyun to see the full range of emotions across his cousin’s face that was usually hidden behind waves of hair. “What is that?”

“Your braces.” Changkyun smiled carrying them over. Carefully unwrapping the material, Hyungwon smiled, truly smiled, long fingers clutching at his cane. “We have a few unnamed parties who want to help.”

“What kind of cloth is this?” Hyungwon touched the soft pink fabric with his free hand. “It’s so soft. What is it used for?”

“Silk.” Changkyun set the items on the bed and wrapped it around his waist. “It’s called a hanbok. They’re Korean skirts.” Hyungwon took in the material with wide eyes. Passing it to him, Changkyun added. “This was your mother’s.” 

“Where did you find it?” Changkyun pretended he didn’t hear the crack in Hyungwon’s voice. Did he have anything of his mother’s down here?

“I found her dressing room. It’s connected to my bedroom in a hidden hallway.” Changkyun pulled out the hairpin he had hidden in his pocket. “It was in the same room I found the hairpin.” Hyungwon clutched the fabric to him. “Our mothers were twins.”

Giving Hyungwon a few moments to gather himself Changkyun went to inspect the windows. It took some effort but he was able to open one, the glass pane swinging inward. If they could just get the wood off the windows they could get some sunlight in the room. Changkyun wondered what part of the grounds this look out on. Even being on the ground floor he had to have some kind of flower garden just under the window.

“Where did you find these?” Hyungwon’s voice was thick with tears. “Medlock said she destroyed them.”

“Your father’s room.” Changkyun pushed at the wood a few times but it didn’t budge. “I bribed the hounds with bacon.”

“They make an awful lot of noise but they’re mostly harmless.” Hyungwon sounded fond of the dogs. “My father used to bring them down here and they’d lay on the bed with me when I was small.” Changkyun refused to tell him of the wild packs that ate people. Best to let his cousin keep any kind of happy memories he had. “Can you help me put these on?”

Changkyun found the hard way that helping Hyungwon walk was going to be a lengthy and painful process. The years he had spent bound to the bed had done damage to his body despite the doctor’s best efforts. Everything seemed to be displaced, his cousin couldn’t even stand on his own. Hyungwon was tall, taller than him, but his spine curved, and his legs shook like the lambs in the garden. 

“You can do it. You can do it” Changkyun held him up, shuffling them back one inch at a time as Hyungwon struggled to get his legs to move. “You can do it. I believe in you Hyungwon.” Even with the braces and the cane he barely got more than a half step before needing to be placed back on the bed.

“I did it.” Hyungwon whispered shakily, a painfully hopeful smile on his face. “I stood up.” Changkyun hugged him tighter. “I stood up and took a step.”

***

Spring came and went faster than Changkyun had expected. His days were spent in the garden planting seeds with Jooheon talking about how the garden seemed like it was magic now that it was coming alive. Sometimes they would hide in corners and sneak kisses with one another, other times they would kiss in the middle of the garden. A dare to anyone who would look in. 

Changkyun liked kissing Jooheon, liked how in the warming air they were able to strip away layers of thick wool. Under the layers, Changkyun found Jooheon softer than Shownu and Wonho but still muscled. The one time he had braved slipping his hand under the soft linen shirt he had found warm skin that lead to a week’s worth of impure dreams and sticky mornings.

During the evenings he would sneak down to Hyungwon’s room. Each night they strapped the braces to the long legs, both agreeing he would need a new set soon. As Hyungwon learned to teeter on his shaky legs, Changkyun told him about the garden, about the magic there. He told his cousin about fixing the dressing room which made his cousin smile even when the cramps became too much. Changkyun knew that Hyungwon clung to his stories during the long days alone and maybe the garden’s magic would help him walk.

Over the last month, Hyungwon had gone from only being able to take a half step while carried mostly by Changkyun to being able to take a handful by himself, assisted only by the cane. It didn’t sound like much, but it meant the world to them. To Hyungwon. It meant that even after years of being forced to remain motionless in a bed, he still had a chance of getting out.

“Do you think there is a lump in my back?” Hyungwon asked one night after they had removed the braces and hidden them with the cane. “Medlock says there is one and the doctors never argue.”

“If there is, I haven’t seen it.” Changkyun shifted to run his fingers along Hyungwon’s spine. “You’re just skinny is all.”

“So I’ve been bed bound for what?” Hyungwon asked staring at the boarded up windows.

“I think in her own twisted way she cares.” Stretched out on the bed, Changkyun felt sleepy. He hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in weeks. “She wanted to protect you.”

“By keeping me caged?”

“By keeping you safe.” Changkyun felt himself starting to drift off. “We’re going to open your window tomorrow.” Changkyun rolled to his side. “Jooheon and I. It will be good for you to have some sunlight.”

“Really?” It took a few extra moments but Hyungwon moved to lay on his side. “I’d like that.”

“Good because Medlock is going to be mightily upset about it.” Of their own volition Changkyun’s eyes started to slip shut. “Don’t let her send him away. Or me.”

“Don’t worry Kyunnie.” Hyungwon’s lips were warm against his forehead. “I'm the master of the house. I’ll protect all of you.”

As promised, the next morning Changkyun and Jooheon had hooked chains to the wooden slats that closed Hyungwon off from the rest of the world. They used Jooheon’s horse Mohae to pull the slats off. Changkyun counted themselves lucky that they had all connected to the same rotting frame. It took only a few pulls before the wood had given way, Mohae no more strained than if they had pulled it themselves.

Changkyun hopped off the horse, kissed Jooheon softly and whispering a small ‘thank you’ against his lips before taking off. He needed to beat the staff to Hyungwon’s room. He had made it down the stairs and into the room just before Medlock came bursting through the doors, mask held to her face.

“WHAT IS GOIN- _YOU_.” Medlock marched over to him as Changkyun backed up towards where Hyungwon lay on the bed. “You _vile_ child. I will have you sent away for this. You will make him sick, you will. I-”

“You will not touch my cousin.” Hyungwon’s words cut through as he climbed up on the bed next to his cousin out of Medlock’s reach. “If you send him away I will send for him to return along with my father.” Changkyun was surprised to see Medlock pull up short. For all their bickering back and forth, Medlock didn’t look as if she had ever been given a direct order. “I am the master of the house while my father is away. You _will_ obey me or I will send you away.” Changkyun stood next to his cousin trying not to cower.

“Master Craven.” Medlock was clearly torn between the stewardess role she had lived by all these years and the fact they she could not argue against Hyungwon’s wishes. “He will kill you he will. Mark my words.”

“No, he won’t.” Hyungwon inclined his chin. “And while I have you here, you will prepare the chariot chair.” Medlock’s spine stiffened. “I _will_ be going outside to the gardens. You will not stop me or I send you away and Minhyuk will be placed as steward.” Off in the corner Minhyuk shrank back behind Kihyun. 

Minhyuk would make a good steward. Organized, kind, and loyal. Minhyuk knew the manor like the back of his hand after so many years of being Medlock’s shadow. The downside of the statement was that Medlock might lash out at the man, at his brothers. Changkyun made a mental note to talk with Hyungwon about putting in protections for the brothers that Changkyun had come to love dearly.

“Master Hyungwon.” Medlock spoke in a soft tone. “You cannot go outside, it’s-”

“What it is, is not up for debate.” Hyungwon cut her off. Medlock’s jaw clenched, eyes narrowing and Changkyun knew there would be severe repercussions. “I am going to the gardens and if you send Changkyun or Minhyuk or his brothers away I will dismiss you.” Hyungwon crossed his arms. “Chair. Now.”

To Changkyun’s surprise Medlock did as she was asked. She left trailing a few of the staff behind her. Left in the room were the two of them with Kihyun and Minhyuk, both looking a little lost. On one hand Medlock’s anger would make their lives miserable and on the other they had the best protection they could have. Hyungwon had placed them under his personal protection much like his father had. Changkyun hoped it would be enough.

In under an hour, Hyungwon was dressed and placed in the chariot cart. While they had been alone Changkyun tossed the braces and wooden cane out of the window where Jooheon had waited. When it was time Medlock watched them, face deep in a scowl while Minhyuk and the doctor - who Changkyun learned was his uncle’s brother - helped Hyungwon into the chariot cart.

Waiting for them at the stairs were Wonho, Shownu, and Jooheon. Changkyun assumed they were there to help Hyungwon and the cart navigate the stairs out. Along the stairs was the staff of the entire house, most with the white medical masks on and some without.

“I will be going out to the gardens with my cousin.” Hyungwon addressed the staff in a clear and concise voice. “I am not to be followed under any circumstances.” A few people shifted uncomfortably in the group. “Anyone found following me will be dismissed effective immediately. I am the master of the house and decree this.” Medlock scowled behind her white mask. “If the weather should agree with me, I will make another trip tomorrow.”

“That is r-”

“Do not interrupt me Medlock.” Hyungwon leveled a steely glare. “This is not up for debate.” Hyungwon sat back in his chair, for once looking slightly uncertain. “Changkyun?”

Leaning in Changkyun asked, “Yes?”

“What did the Raja say when he wanted people to leave?”

“I have spoken. All depart.” Changkyun supplied, smile creeping onto his face.

“I have spoken.” Hyungwon waved his hand dismissively. “All, depart.”

Changkyun and Jooheon led Hyungwon and the older two the long way around the gardens. Twice, knowing that no matter what Hyungwon had decreed there were likely eyes on him. During the third pass Wonho started to hum softly under his breath. A wordless tune that caused Hyungwon to look at him, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry m’lord. I’ll stop.” Wonho blushed a bright pink.

“I know that tune.” Hyungwon shook his head. “I hear it sometimes from my window.” Wonho blushed even more. “Was it you?”

“Sorry for disturbing you m’lord.” Wonho shuffled a little foot to foot looking bashful. Changkyun was curious how Hyungwon would react, he hoped his cousin would be kind to his friends. Especially Wonho, the gardener had a heart twice the size of himself. “I didn’t realize you could hear.”

“It’s okay.” Hyungwon placed a hand on Wonho’s, the two of them smiled shyly at one another. “Please continue. You have a nice voice.”

After the fourth pass, they all agreed that it was likely safe to take the hidden East entrance into the garden. Unlike the main entrance that Changkyun took, there were no stairs at the East side. It lead directly into the rose garden and getting Hyungwon in and out would be easier. In the garden Hyungwon took in the sight of the growing flowers. The statues and the fountain that had come to life as the water began to unfreeze.

Changkyun wished he could say he watched Hyungwon look around the garden. Instead he and Jooheon had hung back at the door exchanging soft kisses with one another. He hoped Shownu and Wonho could keep Hyungwon distracted enough with the emerging blooms for Changkyun to steal a few moments with his...what was Jooheon? Not his husband, they weren’t married. Partner? It didn’t matter. He was Jooheon’s, and Jooheon was his and it was a simple as that.

“Changkyun? Where did you go?” Hyungwon called out, a slight fearful edge to his voice.

“Go to him.” Jooheon kissed him again, fingertips scalding where they had slipped under his shirt. “We’ll have time later.” Changkyun nodded a little numbly, mouth open where Jooheon’s tongue slid against his own one last time.

***

Spring came and went and before Changkyun even realized it was summer. The garden had begun to fully bloom in rows and rows of colors. Yellow azaleas, pink peonies, deep purple lilacs. The weeping cherry tree had blossomed, the pastel petals already blown away by the wind leaving soft green leaves in their wake. Jooheon had told Changkyun and Hyungwon that since there were no other trees to pollinate with that it would not produce any cherries but the flowers would come back every year during the spring. The magic that Changkyun had begun to feel the first weeks of spring now hung heavily in the air. It was something that even Hyungwon could feel even if he kept swearing he didn’t believe in magic.

Nearly every day Hyungwon came out to the garden with him and Jooheon, even when it left them at odds with a quick to anger Medlock. Slowly over the weeks they had been teaching Hyungwon to walk. It was clear that the damage had been done, too many years _had_ given Changkyun’s cousin a curve to his spine. However with patience and practice Hyungwon had begun to take the first few tentative steps. They had always known he would need a cane to walk, maybe even the braces, but he would likely need a wheelchair on standby. Not even Hyungwon’s dedication to practicing would undo all the years of well intentioned neglect.

“Hello.” In the corner of the garden Wonho appeared, bright red hat on despite the heat. Hyungwon had said he liked the hat and it seemed that was all Wonho needed to wear it. “How are we doing today Master Craven?”

“Better if you called me Hyungwon like I told you.” Changkyun grinned at his cousin. Despite the sass he hurled at Wonho, Hyungwon had an increasingly growing soft spot for the gardener.

“As you wish.” Wonho smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Lord Craven.”

Changkyun grabbed Jooheon by the hand leading him away from the two bantering men. When they had made it to the second room of the garden, Changkyun let Jooheon press him against the wall. Their kisses had become more exploratory, mouths open wide trying to drink each other in while their hands wandered. Changkyun had become an expert on the wide planes of Jooheon’s shoulders, the soft places of his hair and neck. In turn Jooheon gripped his ass through the woolen slacks and often untucked his shirt to feel along his skin.

Kihyun had told them that under no circumstances were they allowed to get attached. As the nephew of a wealthy man it was expected Changkyun would marry another aristocrat's daughter, one with just as much or more wealth as Changkyun himself had to offer. It didn’t matter that Changkyun didn’t want someone’s daughter, he wanted Jooheon. Soft, gentle Jooheon who taught him how to be human. Who kissed him and touched him and made Changkyun feel like he was worthy of being loved. Maybe they would end up running away together, maybe his uncle would make an exception. Either way, Changkyun had no intention of being parted from his moor boy. Jooheon was worth all the cold winters in drafty huts and old shoes in the world.

“We should go back.” Jooheon whispered against his neck. At the rush of hot air, Changkyun trembled a bit. This was the crux of every fantasy that had haunted him for days.

“Just a little longer.” Changkyun pulled their bodies together until they nearly melted into one. “Just a little longer Honey.”

“Okay.” Jooheon kissed him softly. “Anything for you Kyunnie.”

Changkyun felt the familiar heat build along his spine while Jooheon pressed them closer. The work calloused hands slid up his back, shirt bunching as it rose up on Jooheon's wrists. Some small noise crawled its way out of his throat but Jooheon swallowed it. Just like he swallowed the next one and the ones that followed until finally Changkyun gasped, body a trembling mess.

"We… stop." Changkyun knew if Jooheon kept touching him that he would end up sticky. "I didn't bring anything to change into." 

Jooheon tilted his head curiously then at Changkyun's blush a smile crept onto his face.

"Do you think about me when you lay in bed?" Jooheon held him by the waist. "I think of you." Changkyun's cheeks burned. "Your pretty blush and how cute you look when you're flustered."

Changkyun didn't have an opportunity to answer. A shout came from over the garden wall where Hyungwon and Wonho were sitting under the cherry tree. With a look Changkyun slipped out from Jooheon's hold to jog, a little uncomfortably, to the main garden.

Over the top of the wall Ben was staring down where the picnic items had been left. Changkyun glanced around curious to where the two had disappeared to.

His answer was directly under where Ben's head was popped up. Under a thick branch Wonho stood holding Hyungwon in his arms while Hyungwon gaped at him.

"C'mon out. I know you're in there." Ben hissed. The old man climbed higher on his ladder. "I said. _Come out_."

Pressing a hand to Jooheon's chest Changkyun shook his head no, then pointed at the ground. No one else had to get in trouble, no one had to get sent away. With numb legs Changkyun walked out to the middle of the garden and looked up at Ben's scandalized face.

"_You_." Ben looked nearly ready to climb the wall to strangle him. "Of course it's you. How dare you come into tha' Missus garden? How dare you invade this place."

Changkyun couldn't seem to get his tongue to work. Ben kept glaring a hole into his head until out of the corner of his eye Changkyun saw Hyungwon move. It was slow, the hinges of braces squeaked slightly with each step but Hyungwon was walking by himself. It was only about twenty steps between them but Hyungwon looked haggard when he reached Changkyun.

Turning a haughty look Hyungwon looked up at Ben. "Do you know who I am?"

"Bless me. Master Craven." Ben's voice was filled with awe. The old man's eyes swept over Hyungwon again. Then a third time as if he didn't believe. "Tha' face of your father but your eyes. Those are your mum's staring at me."

"You won't tell Medlock about this." Hyungwon huffed trying to draw himself up as much as his spine and cane would allow.

"No sir." Ben pulled his hat off. "She'd 'ave loved to see you in here. Your mum." Ben's eyes turned misty.

"You knew my mother?" Hyungwon asked and Ben nodded a yes. "This garden is a secret."

"Right you are." Ben nodded. "You father locked it up but your mum trusted me with her roses." Changkyun thought of the garden when they found it and how it looked as if someone had once attempted to keep up in it. Maybe Ben had before he stopped being able to jump up and down from the wall. "I take it tha' this is where Hoesek has run off to?"

"Yes." Hyungwon began to shake slightly from the strain. "He'll be accompanying me when I come out." Changkyun begun to worry how much longer Hyungwon would be able to stand when Wonho darted out of his hiding place to steady Hyungwon. "Please allow him to stay."

"Of course." Ben dabbed at his eyes with the handkerchief that Changkyun remembered. Did his aunt give it to Ben? If she trusted him with her garden she was likely friends with him. "You take care of the Missus’ son Heosek. Or you'll be answerin ta me." Wohno held Hyungwon tighter.

"Ben, come down from the ladder and inside. The East door is unlocked." Changkyun pointed. Ben gave a firm nod then disappeared. "Let's get you sitting down." Changkyun motioned for Wonho to move Hyungwon.

It took only a few minutes for Ben to come in trailing Shownu. The two gardeners were lead over by Jooheon with Ben taking in the garden with a mix of delight and scrutiny.

With all of them on the picnic blanket Ben told them about coming into the garden. He had indeed climbed the walls to tend to the roses and trees once or twice a year until his knees no longer could take it.

"She gave her orders first." Ben looked at the soft petaled crocus growing in the bed close to them. "She told me, laughing as she did, tha' if she were to get ill or go away to tend to the roses." Tears lined the old eyes again. "When she died Lord Craven locked this place up but she gave her orders _first._"

"I had wondered." Jooheon broke a piece of hard bread off to feed to Charlie. "It wouldn't have been as wick as it was without someone looking after it."

"Tell me about her." Hyungwon asked breathlessly. "My mother. Please, tell me about her."

***

Changkyun laid with Hyungwon in the middle of the garden, both of them staring up at the sky. Around them Ben and the three brothers went about doing upkeep on the garden leaving the two of them to entertain themselves.

"I kissed Wonho." Hyungwon said quietly. "It was...I never thought I'd live long enough to kiss someone."

"I kiss Jooheon." Changkyun whispered back.

"Everyone knows that." Hyungwon scoffed but his lips were curled into a grin. "I think even Medlock knows." Changkyun's face burned hotly though he made no attempt to defend himself. "Do you think...I'm the heir to Misselthwaite. Do you think I'll be allowed to love him?"

"I don't know." Changkyun reached over to hold his hand. "I'd give up the garden if it meant I could be with Jooheon."

"Maybe. Maybe we could use the magic here to stay with them." Hyungwon tightened his hold. "Do you really think the garden is magic?"

Changkyun took time to think about it. Did he? Changkyun didn't believe in many things, mostly things he could see and touch. But the garden did seem to have a magic to it. A simple magic but a magic all the same.

"I do." Changkyun rolled into his side. "It came back to life even when no one wanted it. Just like us." Hyungwon smiled wider. "If that's not magic I don't know what is."

"I think Medlock sent for my father." Hyungwon did a few leg lifts. "She doesn't like me coming outside. We argue every day and my uncle keeps backing her."

"Do you think he'll come?" Changkyun sat up to help Hyungwon stretch. His cousin and Minhyuk had walked him through the stretches the doctor did enough times that Changkyun could help. "We can get you better fitting braces. A taller cane so you don't have to stoop so low."

"If he'll see me." Hyungwon winced as his hip cracked.

"If he doesn't then we'll walk up to his room." Gently Changkyun lifted Hyungwon's hips a bit making his tailbone crack. "You're not bed bound anymore."

"I want him to be the first of the house to see." Hyungwon pushed himself up. "I don't want Medlock or my uncle to try to take credit for this." Changkyun couldn't argue that. The two might try, if they didn't fall over dead when they saw him.

As the sun was setting, Changkyun watched as Wonho helped Hyungwon into his chair. His cousin waited until he was seated comfortably before pulling the gardener down and they exchanged gentle kisses between them.

Turning to his own moor boy, Changkyun sank into a bone melting kiss with Jooheon. The question of if they'd be allowed to be together would be answered when his uncle arrived weighed heavily on his mind. Changkyun hoped his uncle would understand, that he would let them have their happiness after they had been alone for so long.

That night Changkyun slept in Hyungwon's bed. Since the cat was out of the bag, Changkyun no longer snuck in and out of Hyungwon's room like a ghost. Medlock still didn't know about the stairs, or his secret door and Changkyun hoped to keep it that way. The way of secrets was that if she found out one, she'd find them all, and that included the garden.

During the night they talked about the books he had snuck from the library to read to Hyungwon. They talked about the garden and what flowers they wanted to plant around the manor to bring some life to it. In hushed whispers when the moon was high in the sky, they talked about love. They talked about soft kisses and warm hands on their hips from their garden boys.

Changkyun woke early the next morning despite how late he and Hyungwon had stayed up. Something in the air felt charged, like the magic from the garden was seeping out into the air around them. It was enough that even Hyungwon who needed at least an hour of shaking and cajoling before even stirring woke with both eyes wide open.

Something was _different_. Something that Changkyun couldn't place just yet but he knew would show itself when it was ready. Like the velvet red roses that opened up the day Ben had returned to the garden.

Tugging on the rope by the bed twice, Changkyun and Hyungwon waited for their breakfast to arrive. When it did, Kihyun came bearing a change of clothes for Changkyun. Unlike when he had breakfast in his room, when he ate with Hyungwon it wasn't oatmeal. They had eggs and thick cuts of ham or bacon with soft potatoes and flaky biscuits. Hyungwon had once told him he _hated_ oatmeal, it was bland and after he threw a bowl across the room as a child they no longer served it to him.

The garden seemed extra bright when they wheeled into it at noon. Wonho was already helping Hyungwon out of the cart, the shy smile permanently tacked to his face. Changkyun watched the two walk, slowly but side by side, toward the swing hanging from the tree.

Changkyun knew Jooheon had entered the garden before he saw him. The small red fox darted through the door, circled his legs before taking off again. A spindly legged ram toddled its way by with Charlie bouncing on the small curve of a horn. Even the robin red breast flew in to chirp before taking off. Changkyun had wondered once if Jooheon was a beast tamer but now he knew he was wrong. The beast tamers couldn't work the magic Jooheon did.

"You look pensive today." Lips brushed against his in lieu of a greeting.

"They don't let boys love boys in India." Changkyun spoke quietly. 

"They don't let boys love boys here and yet I love you." Jooheon kissed him again.

"You love me?" Changkyun's breath caught. The butterflies that he thought had died in his stomach came fluttering back to life.

"I do." Changkyun couldn't remember a single time in his life someone had told him that they loved him. "I love you Changkyun."

"I love you too." In the garden Changkyun let himself cry. He felt the tears not just burn but well up and fall onto his cheeks even as Jooheon kissed them away.

Tucking himself against Jooheon, he closed his eyes. They swayed slightly with the breeze, the warm air rustling the garden around them. Off in the distance he could hear Hyungwon talking with Wonho. 

Still, the garden seemed to be holding its breath. It was still waiting for something.

Or, as it turned out, it was waiting for some_one_.

"Father?" The word made Changkyun jolt from Jooheon's arms. A few steps away his uncle stood, face slack with shock and tears already sliding down his cheeks.

"Hyungwon." His uncle swayed a little. Darting forward Changkyun and Jooheon tried to steady him. "My son."

Hyungwon didn't run, he couldn't, but he took steps that were much bigger than he had been practicing. Changkyun nearly scolded him about overdoing it but all at once his uncle was darting forward. The man gathered Hyungwon to his arms, both of them clinging to each other through their tears.

Part of Changkyun wanted to flee when his uncle turned to him. Would he be angry? Would he want to send him away for opening the garden? For bringing Hyungwon outside despite his orders?

"Go to them." Jooheon pushed him forward and Changkyun realized his uncle was _smiling_. The heavy weight of grief that had cloaked his uncle had passed like rain on the mountain.

The family embrace was broken by Hyungwon's need to sit. At the picnic area, Changkyun listened to Hyungwon and his father catch up on a lifetime missed. The brothers slipped away quietly, both Jooheon and Wonho no doubt close by should they be needed.

Changkyun waited until the two weren't paying attention to slip away. He couldn't shake the feeling he was interrupting something. Even if he was family he didn't feel like he belonged. His cousin and uncle would have each other now, they had no need of him. In all the books the ghosts, no matter how helpful, all disappeared at the end. Now that his work was done he would disappear into the shadows of Misselthwaite like he did in his parent’s home. Changkyun didn't make it farther than the fountain in the rose room before a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"I'm sorry." Changkyun's shoulders curled forward. The bubble of the fountain was as restless as his stomach. Changkyun was convinced at any moment his uncle was going to tell him he was no longer welcome. "No one wanted it. It was dead and no one wanted it. I just...I just wanted…"

"You're right. I didn't want it." Lord Craven drew him into a hug, warm palm petting his hair. "It reminded me of her and I could not bear the sight of it." Changkyun scrunched his eyes closed still afraid to hope. "But you brought it back to life. You brought _us_ back to life." Lord Craven's voice held a smile. "Thank you Changkyun. You saved us."

Lord Craven returned to the manor with them and when they reached the stair Medlock stood straight backed at the top. Changkyun had to contain his smugness when Hyungwon threw the blanket off his lap, stood from the chariot cart and walked a few steps to greet her. The few members of the staff including Kihyun and Minhyuk surrounded her as Medlock’s feet nearly went out from under her in her shock. The stewardess gaped only a few moments before regaining herself and brushing off Minhyuk and Kihyun to stand straight backed once again.

"Medlock." Hyungwon smiled though he did not climb the steps. "We'll have to find new things for us to argue about." The stewardess of Misselthwaite looked taken aback before a laugh rippled from the woman.

The spell was broken and the magic returned to the garden. Both Cravens learned to laugh, and Changkyun learned to cry. 

The secret garden is always open now. Open, and awake, and alive. If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi to us on Tumblr!  
https://bang-channies.tumblr.com/
> 
> hey kids we got a twitter:  
S - https://twitter.com/hardstansonly  
K - https://twitter.com/BChannies

**Author's Note:**

> Say hi to us on Tumblr!  
https://bang-channies.tumblr.com/
> 
> hey kids we got a twitter:  
S - https://twitter.com/hardstansonly  
K - https://twitter.com/BChannies


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